Phone Sex Fantasy Worries & Hang-Ups

I haven’t discussed much about the actual “sex” in phone sex, yet; and what I have said may be more than a little overwhelming. So let me clarify a few things for beginners…

Whether your phone sex session is based on an erotic masturbatory session, a theoretical discussion, or a more personal counseling type of conversation, you will be exposed to a wide variety of sexual fantasies and fetishes.

It doesn’t matter if your phone sex character or listing is clearly stated to be limited to specific fantasies or niches or not; you will hear lots of different fantasies. In fact, the more limited your niche, fetish, or focus, the more surprised you might be to discover the depth and breadth of what you thought was quite a narrow specialty. And, of course, there are always those callers who seem immune to the rules, whether they be your individual offerings, the company rules, or legal constraints.

In other words, be prepared to hear everything, even if you have clear limits.

If you have a lot of emotional or mental hang-ups about sex, this isn’t the business to be in.

What happens if the caller is pushing the limits, breaking the rules?

While in many ways, the old adage, “The customer is always right!” holds true in phone sex work, you are not obligated — ever — to break the law. Providing good customer service is important, but never feel uncomfortable telling the caller when a topic is illegal. Usually, a polite, but firm, “I’m sorry, but we cannot talk about that,” followed by a sultry invitation to some other sort of play is all that is needed.

But, if the caller insists or otherwise frightens you, you should do two things: 1) hang up, and 2) report the caller to dispatch (or other company contact) so that they may take any appropriate legal actions. Inform them as soon as possible, while the data and info necessary is still easily accessible.

The same is rather true of callers who insist in conversations which are explicitly off limits due to the terms of service (TOS) of the phone sex company or, for independents, platforms and service providers you have agreements with. In these cases, dispatchers, billing, etc., may take action by adding the name to “the list” (which involves further investigations, warning, or, at the very least, no longer connecting those calls to you) or even blocking clients entirely from any and all future services.


But what if the topic isn’t illegal, or against TOS — it’s “just plain icky?”

Unless you work for a really bad phone sex service, you shouldn’t be forced to perform or participate in sex fantasies which upset or sicken you. (And if you do work for that sort of company — quit!  It’s not worth it.) This, however, should not be confused with fantasies which just don’t turn you on.

In cases where the fantasy doesn’t arouse you, you’ll just have to fake it and do the work — with a smile. Just like any other person with a customer service job. While there are many phone sex calls which do offer the opportunity for mutual masturbation, not every one will — and it’s not a requirement for a call or even a satisfactory call. In fact, many PSOs will tell you, some of their best work is done when they are not turned on themselves. Not being lost in the moment, distracted by their own erotic needs, means they are better able to focus on the needs of clients. And that’s what your job is: to deliver the fantasy service your caller wants.

What if I’m not good at talking about what he wants?

There will be times that, for whatever reason, you just aren’t any good at certain kinds of calls. Maybe you even like the scenes, but cannot lead and create the stories yourself. Maybe you can’t fully engage callers who seek a discussion, not an erotic time. Or maybe you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but whenever you have a call on that topic, your call average takes a nosedive or your feedback is terrible. Whatever it is, you have a problem.

A smart professional phone sex provider knows that her bread is buttered best by her good performances. Good performances lead to longer calls, which means more money. And, for independents and those working for companies where they can be requested by callers, consistent hot calls lead to repeat and even regular callers. (As any business person will tell you, keeping a customer is less expensive than trolling for new ones.)

To that extent, a PSO who has a problem with a topic, fetish etc. does her best to problem solve. Perhaps she needs to research the subject, read erotica, get advice from a fellow PSO… Or, at the very least, she should inform dispatch not to send her those calls. (And if she’s independent, she’s best-off informing a caller that his happy ending lies elsewhere — providing a referral, if at all possible.)

For those professionals who do not have the option to redirect a caller, or who must otherwise endure a call while they improve their skills, they must choose between trying to lead a call on a tangent which will satisfy (or at least intrigue) their caller or politely but honestly inform them that they are not the right PSO for them — and/or be prepared to be hung up on.

Hang-ups, mental blocks and physical call disconnects, happen in this business; PSOs expect a certain, but small, percentage of them.

2 thoughts on “Phone Sex Fantasy Worries & Hang-Ups

  1. Kathleen

    Great article, great advice! It’s good to see someone representing our community in an truly intelligent and formative manner. Keep it coming! Sincerely, Kat

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Don’t Give Into Stupid Demands | Phone Sex Secrets

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