What Is A Femdom?

I’ve been putting off this post for quite some time because, like most things sexual, BDSM, power play, etc. is an extremely complicated subject. Tomes have been written about the subject (I prefer, and highly recommend, those by Dr. Gloria Brame), so condensing such things in an introductory way that both makes sense and is usable is difficult indeed. But it’s getting harder and harder to continue discussing how to be an independent phone sex operator without it. So here we go…

What Is A Femdom?

A Femdom, Femdomme, Female Dominant, Domina, Dominatrix, Mistress, or Goddess (among others) are the names given to powerful females in BDSM relationships, communities, and erotic activities. These names are often capitalized to show respect; while all references to the submissives, subs, and slaves are not.

(Some in the BDSM community are hell-bent on committed to the use of such capitalization, but I am more committed to the rules of grammar and do not generally “remember” to use them in my writing. Maybe I’m more afraid of former English teachers and nuns with rulers than I am any BDSM police. *wink* Whatever. I won’t continue to use the improper yet traditional capitalization techniques of power play here.)

While all BDSM play is consensual, the female dominant is supposed to determine, direct, and control the encounter; hence another term for this sort of power play is “female led relationships.” However, as a PSO is a paid professional, there is some debate within the BDSM community whether PSOs (along with dungeon dominatrixes, and other sex workers) can actually be leading the relationship, scenes, or play because an element of “the customer is always right” leaves some to believe that the client or caller is the one who is really in control — an economic version of topping from the bottom. (If they believe in that sort of thing. …As you might imagine, there are lots of control-freak issues within the BDSM community. Like the capitalization issue, I eschew such gimmicky, formulaic considerations and prefer to deal with the psychological-lust-fare that really makes things work.)

What Activities Or Scenes Does A Femdom Lead?

For most people, BDSM brings to mind sadism, physical pain, corporal punishment, and physical discipline — spanking, whipping, and caning; figging; hot wax play; cock and ball torture (CBT); etc.

But it’s not all whips and chains here. There is a wide range of BDSM play or practices.

Activities include, but are not limited to:

* body worship
* face-sitting, smothering, and/or breath control
* verbal humiliation (mocking small dicks, race, religion, etc.)
* physical humiliation (boot licking, spitting, golden showers, enemas, etc.)
* tease and denial
* cuckolding
* orgasm denial, orgasm control, ruined orgasm, forced chastity
* strap-on dildo penetration (pegging) and prostate milking
* forced feminization (cross-dressing, domestic service as a sissy maid, and/or use by men)
* cum-eating and/or feltching
* age-play
* CFNM (clothed female, nude male)
* trampling
* financial domination & blackmail
* hypnosis and mind control
* forced intoxication
* objectification and dehumanization (human furniture; human ashtray; doll or robot; puppy play, piggy play, etc., in which the sub lives the life of an animal serving the whims of his Mistress)

This list is by no means exhaustive; but it’s nearly exhausting to create! *wink*

How Does A Femdom Lead?

Just as there are many ways for a malesub to serve or be used, there are different styles of dominating for a femdom to choose from. Here are just a few female archetypes that indicate dominating styles:

* teasing brat
* sensual dominant woman
* princess to spoil
* commanding queen
* humiliating mocking woman, aka humiliatrix
* authoritative alpha female (boss, police or military officer, teacher, etc.)
* loving female authority figure (mom, step-mom, aunt, etc.)
* classic leather-wearing, ball-busting, dungeon dominatrix
* supernatural or otherworldly goddess
* paranormal witch or succubus
* sci-fi or counter-culture female supremacist


What Does This All Mean For A Phone Sex Femdom?

That is the million dollar question, isn’t it.

There are endless combinations of styles, activities and even means of dominating a man as a phone sex operator.

Before you can determine, direct, and control the encounter with the caller, you must determine, direct, and control the type of phone sex femdom you want to be. And, in many cases, where you want to offer your services as some of these fantasies are against phone sex platform terms of service (TOS).

More on this to come, as I’m sure many of you have your thinking caps to put on. *wink*

4 thoughts on “What Is A Femdom?

  1. Ayesha

    Um…..and then there r the ones who don’t care about all the mainstream femdom “issues’, who do not play, and simply have things their way 24/7/365.

    Reply
  2. Phone Sex Secrets

    This site is, as stated right at the start of this post (and elsewhere), for helping those who want a phone sex career. Those women you describe aren’t likely looking for help in terms of what a femdom is or isn’t.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: Understanding (Some) Male Rape Fantasies | Sex~Kitten.net

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