Impotent Marketing

I am a marketing nerd. I like to read as much about marketing as I possibly can. So I approached this article by Matt Kramer regarding the magic buttons to push in selling wine eagerly. You might say I was excited to drink in the knowledge. But then I hit this bit discussing the appeal of “pre-arrival” as a magical sales button:

It’s the wine version of phone sex: They’re selling something they don’t actually have, to someone who is paying up-front for something he’s not actually getting. (Once, in a long-ago column, I defined “pre-arrival offering” as “the technique by which the wine impotent seduce the wine lustful.”)

Kramer may know his wines; but he knows nothing — I repeat, nothing! — about phone sex. I daresay he knows nothing about seduction or lust either. I won’t comment on the matter of impotence.

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