Category Archives: Ethics

Why Spam Is Bad For Your Business

This past week I’ve been hit with a lot of spam — comment spam here at Phone Sex Secrets, to be precise. Because it is my business to help those in the phone sex industry, I contacted those phone sex operators and phone sex business owners who left the inappropriate comments and quickly discovered that many of them did not know that leaving comments for the sole purpose of leaving link or links behind is spam.

Now, you might think that anyone with a blog or website would know how inappropriate and annoying spam comments are, but a few of them sincerely seemed unaware that what they’d done was poor form. So here’s my quick attempt to educate folks on the subject.

Leaving spam comments isn’t just poor form — it’s a poor thing to do for many reasons.

First of all, despite what some poor &/or ignorant marketing folks will tell — and sell — you, spam links are not good for SEO: Google doesn’t like it. In fact, Google is working hard with it’s latest algorithm updates, to severely penalize spammers.

While some webmasters will allow your spam comments to be posted at their site (in the hope that Google will severely punish them with negative rankings for their bad behavior), many bloggers, like myself, work to make sure such spam comments won’t make it onto the site (or remain on the site, if they snuck through the defenses). We don’t like those spammy comments for multiple reasons, including possible traffic leaks. But the main reason we remove them is because we are protective of our readers’ reactions. We want them to have positive reactions to our site. But when spam comments are around, it looks like we are too lazy to remove them or like our site may be “dead” and abandoned. Neither of those things is positive.

This leads me to the second bad thing about spamming blogs: you alienate bloggers.

If your intention was to pitch a blogger the idea of featuring you or your business, you’ve been going about this all wrong. You’ve not only tried to steal traffic, put their site’s ranking at risk, and made extra work for the blogger, but you’ve shown the blogger that you have no regard for proper business channels.

Most bloggers and webmasters who are open to being pitched ideas for interviews, article features, advertising, or other options to promote your business will have directions (forms, contact or “about” pages with email addresses, etc.) for how to do business with them. When you ignore their directions, you show yourself to be rude, ignorant, or disrespectful — maybe all those things. As a result, they will have little interest in helping you. You may just have lost a potential ally, maybe even burned a bridge.

(So even if those I emailed about their spam links at this site feel that I was rude, they are, in fact, lucky to have heard from me at all — and should feel grateful that I have taken the time to educate them. Most bloggers will just delete the submitted comments; perhaps add the spammers’ email addresses, ISPs, and/or URLs to blacklists. Others, as mentioned, will allow the comments be posted so that their sites can be punished by the search engines. I’ve been kind and generous with my time.)

Third, don’t think that readers — potential customers — are immune to feeling icky about your spam links either. Many readers are aware of what spam is and they don’t like it. It reminds them of all the spam in their inboxes. It makes them mad. Is that really how you want clients and potential clients to think of you and your phone sex business?

In short, traipsing around the Internet leaving spam links behind you is bad for your SEO and your reputation. Don’t do it.

MyPhoneSite Notices For PSOs

Early this morning, phone sex platform MPS sent out two messages regarding site services.

First message: Pending System Wide Review

We are doing a system wide review to ensure that customers who visit our site have a consistent, high quality experience. The support team at myphonesite.com will be doing this review starting Thursday, March 7th at 10 AM EST.

Before we do the system review Thursday, please take a moment to update your provider profiles and websites to include photos listed in your profile as well as profile text. Any profiles that do not have photos and written legible profile text will be paused until the provider can update the profile.

The second message: Loss Prevention Notification

It has been brought to the support team’s attention from multiple customers that there is a great deal of STEALING occurring on the system. Anytime you do not use the system to complete pay per minute phone conversations will result in immediate deactivation and funds in the provider account will be lost. We have ZERO tolerance for stealing. Stealing is a crime. Redirecting customers to other platforms, arranging payments through other means, having customers call you on your cell/home phone is not permitted. In addition you may also be liable for civil or criminal charges. We have a support team in place to review the system 24 hours a day to prevent theft from occurring on myphonesite.com.

The first message from MPS arrived in my email inbox at 2:22 AM; at 2:24 AM I had no less than seven emails from panicked PSOs who use the site to conduct their phone sex business. While I was rather certain that I understood the notices from MPS to be professional notices warning those who are abusing the MPS platform that they are about to be busted — and not actually about any new policy changes, so many frantic emails had me concerned that I’d better be correct and not pass-along incorrect information. So I quickly contacted MPS. (Before my reply was sent, another dozen or so emails from worried PSOs had arrived.)

I have questions regarding the following emails (below) which are worded more frighteningly than I’d imagine one needs to use… I’d like clarification on these asap so as to avoid any problems. I thank you in advance for the professional courtesy of your reply.

One, regarding the photos: Are images such as logos and icons acceptable? I [use] the image/avatar I have used for years as that is far more recognizable online than my photo.

Two, regarding the “stealing” issue: Many PSOs and other professionals use multiple services for their work. Sometimes it is a competing site, such as NiteFlirt; other times it is for a service not offered by MPS (such as paid chat time, providing design services, etc.). I can understand that it would be stealing if a PSO (or MPS member) uses the MPS platform in any way (be it a link in a profile, a message on the MPS system, during a call, etc.) to lead a client to other payment options; but to say that “Anytime you do not use the system to complete pay per minute phone conversations” is not really a legal thing to say. We are not employees, we are not contracted to *only* use MPS. We are independent contractors paying to use the MPS platform services. To clarify my point, a PSO/MPS member may have options for payment on her website which includes MPS among others — but if that website is *not* linked to from MPS, it is not “stealing”. I would like clarification — clear definition — on this issue of stealing asap.

Just minutes after I sent my email to MPS, I had an official reply from Samantha — and minutes after that, I had her permission to share it with you.

The email was referencing providers not stealing on the MPS network, not telling the providers where they can work. We are aware providers use other services. However there has been an increasing amount of providers using MPS to find customers to pay them directly through Western Union, Paypal, etc. It’s crucial to stop the “bleeding” of loss prevention to keep the company viable.

It is acceptable to use logos and icons. We have been requested by providers that use the system as well as customers to review the system and remove items of concern as well as low quality listings. We hope it will help the providers that have fantastic sites/listings such as yourself with obtaining more traffic.

So, to repeat, things are as I thought. One, the matter of stealing was in reference to MPS policing policies already in place. Two, MPS is going about ridding the site of spam accounts. Both of which are better for all of us, really.

(It is also worth noting, again, that MPS has had excellent support communication with PSOs.)

As is so often the case, the innocent worry they’ve done something wrong while the guilty folks just ignore the warnings. Most of you are likely doing nothing wrong, so you needn’t worry. Those of you who are cheating, abusing the MPS phone sex platform, you know who you are — and soon MPS will too and you’ll be gone.

Major Security Issue At NiteFlirt

Phone sex platform NiteFlirt (NF) continues to be plagued by problems ever since the switch in 2009, but this latest problem is horrific.

For at least a decade, NF was reliable for its safe double-blind connections. Double-blind calls work one of two ways:

1) A caller dials into the service using 1-800-TO-FLIRT and select his PSO, whereupon the NF system would act as an intermediary, shielding his telephone number, and attempt to reach the PSO, shielding her telephone number. If/when the PSO answered her telephone and accepted the call by pressing “1” on her telephone keypad, the call would then be connected, with neither party knowing the other’s telephone number or other information.

2) A caller would select his PSO from the online listings and click the “Call Now” button, whereupon the NF system would dial the telephone number selected in the caller’s account. If/when the caller answered his telephone and accepted the call by pressing “1” on his telephone keypad, NF would (again acting as an intermediary shielding both telephone numbers) attempt to reach the PSO, who would also need to accept the call by pressing “1”.

In both cases, the phone sex operator needs to press “1” in order for the caller to be connected to her telephone line. The caller would not be connected (or billed) unless the PSO answered the call from NF and accepted the call by pressing “1” on her telephone; no answer, no pressing of “1”, and the caller would not be connected to the PSOs telephone line. Even if the PSO’s telephone had voicemail which picked-up the call from NF, the call would not, could not, be connected as “1” was not pressed in acceptance.

However, there is now some sort of a “glitch” which is actually connecting calls without receipt of the “1” prompt which is the acceptance of the call — and this so-called glitch is now connecting calls and sending callers straight to PSO voicemail, resulting in callers hearing the outgoing messages from PSOs (which includes names &/or phone numbers!) and being able to leave messages!

This is a huge security breech.

It is compounded by the fact that NF has, since the transition a few years ago, had other odd glitches which have randomly changed PSO availability settings to “Yes, Taking Calls” meaning that many PSOs are being called when they are not working and, for those using cell or mobile phones especially, this literally means turning their phones off — which, in fact, activates voicemail services. Yikes!

If you must continue to use NF for your phone sex business or adult entertainment services, you will likely want to cease use of voicemail features on the phone you are using for NF connections. As most of us use cellphones now, it is important to note that you cannot turn off the voicemail feature on your own; you will need to contact your mobile phone service provider and have them disable your voice mail service for you. The same is true for those with cable phones, etc.

Yup, this is going to be a huge pain in the ass.

If this is happening to PSOs, is there the possibility of something similar happening with caller accounts as well? I have no access to that sort of technical information to really know. I do know that callers are connected first, so it would seem unlikely that the situation could happen in reverse, in which a PSO could reach a caller’s voicemail. But I’ve heard callers are getting recordings of attempted connections from NF on their voicemails too — which doesn’t thrill those who use company, family, or other shared telephone lines. Plus, who knows where this “glitch” is? Err on the side of caution.

While NF has officially remained silent on this issue, some folks have suggested going back to using landlines with actual answering machines. We should not have to do this; one of NF’s promises is the safety of privacy. But this is not a drill, people, so do what you have to do to stay safe!

Today’s Phone Sex Tip: Can You Hear Me Now?

No, today’s phone sex tip has nothing to do with Verizon or the use of cell phones or mobile phones at all. Well, at least not specifically.

Because mobile connections are nearly as stable as landline connections — and, in many cases, the former is replacing the latter — most every phone sex platform site now accepts the reality that callers and operators alike are using mobile phones for phone sex. Whatever the telephone connections used, there can (and will) be problems with call clarity.

Whether you are the PSO or the caller, there will be times when you cannot clearly hear your phone sex partner. It could be due to the connection itself, signal interference, background noise, or simply a problem with the placement or way one party is holding their telephone. Most often, it’s that last one which is truly causing the problem.

When we are relaxed or intently focused on something other than how we are holding the phone, we may no longer have the mouthpiece near enough to our lips to provide great service. This is also a problem with long calls when we shift to another comfortable position. Headsets are one solution; though they can move during the action as well. Using the speakerphone option may work, provided you are in a place to do that, there’s no competing background noise, and you can override the inclination to shout-talk.

Whatever the reason for the auditory issues, do not attempt to suffer through a phone sex call without being able to fully hear your phone sex partner. I know most of us are inclined to be polite, or at least have no desire to seem like a nag, repeating “What? What?!” over and over again. But pretending that all is well, that you can hear what is being said, is just idiocy. If you cannot hear your phone sex partner, or something is ruining the ambiance, say so.

Callers, this means you too.

You needn’t be rude, nor overly apologetic. Begin with an “I’m sorry” and try to troubleshoot while stating the problem — and without sounding accusatory

For example, if you think the television or radio is too loud, you could say, “I’m sorry, but are you speaking from a crowded place? I am having difficulty picking out your voice over the others.” If it turns out your partner’s fantasy is sneaking a private sex call in a public place (it’s becoming quite the popular fetish play!), you may just have to make do; but you’ve insulted no one with accusations of a loud TV and/or not paying attention to you.

If you deduce the problem is due to something which can be turned off, turned down, or moved away from (such as a television, air conditioner, barking dog, etc.) you can likely solve the problem quickly.

If that’s not the problem, if there’s an annoying noise or something breaking-up the call, you may need to do more troubleshooting. You could say, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you… Are you using a cell phone, because I hear a whining noise” or “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you… Are you using a cell phone, because the call goes in and out.” Understanding what could be causing the problem will help both of you address the issue, and may require hanging up, and placing another call once the issue is resolved. (Note: Sometimes this can be a connection issue on the platform’s end, so sometimes just starting the call again will fix things.)

If these things are not to blame for the issue, if you’ve determined that the issue is one of how your phone sex pal is holding the phone based on that “mumbling quality”, you still must address it. You can say something like, “I’m sorry, but I’m having difficulty hearing you… I’ve adjusted my ear piece/phone/volume, and I’m thinking you might have let the mouthpiece fall too far away from your lips…” You may need to continue to remind your partner — or be reminded by your partner during the call. But don’t think of this as being rude. You can turn it into part of the phone sex play. “Oops, you’re drifting away from me again!”  or a “Oh, sorry, I was just getting lost in what you were saying… And I guess my hands strayed!” (This can also be managed in D/s play with orders and punishments!)

Whatever the reason for auditory issues during a phone sex call, keep a hold on your frustration. Remember, you both want this to go well, so speak up and say something!

Today’s Phone Sex Tip: Addressing Professionalism In Paid Phone Sex Work

As a professional phone sex operator, there are specific rules of conduct. Many of these are spelled out for you in the terms of service of your contract, your agreement with phone sex platforms, payment processors, etc. But not all of them are.

Frankly, if you exercise the same caution you ought to in real life, in person and online, you’ll be fine. But some people lose sight of common sense when not being themselves; others, apparently, mistake the anonymity of hiding behind a character on the phone (or an ID online) as some sort of shield. Doing either puts yourself at risk.

You’ve no doubt heard the expression, “He has more dollars than sense.” But sometimes a PSO eager for dollars is willing to make such a trade. Don’t be one of them. Here are the basics of keeping yourself safe while handling your clients professionally.

Never give out any personal information which could lead the caller to identify you and never ask any information which could lead the caller to (even think) you are trying to identify them. Personal information includes names; company or work names; phone numbers; addresses; email addresses, chat, instant message, user IDs linked to “the real you”; banking information; passwords; etc.

When you blog or otherwise discuss clients, do not disclose their ID, share photos, etc. without their permission. Do not discuss other callers with other callers. There often are callers who get off hearing about your PSO work and other calls; it’s a form of voyeurism, or an easy way to get a fantasy idea. I can’t say “never do this” because, frankly, it’s fun and safe — as long as you are sure you are not betraying any confidences or identifying other callers by member name etc.. In other words, your fantasies can be shared in detail, but no details about your other clients themselves.

This may all seem like the dangers of strangers stuff you learned in elementary school, perhaps combined with a little Emily Post politeness. And it pretty much is. But the basics of safe and polite human interaction are tested in phone sex work.

Sometimes it’s because a caller just wants to know “the real you”, so he asks you questions and volunteers information about himself hoping his honestly encourages you to do the same. Other times it’s those proverbial few bad apples trying to do bad things. I like to err on the side of benevolent caution: He’s not trying to manipulate you into bad things; he’s been affected by the intimate nature of your companionship. In other words, it’s post-coital pillow-talk. (Even pushes for personal information at the start of your first call or contact can be post-coital; he may have masturbated to your profile, photos, etc. Or, he’s just trying to confirm for himself that what you say about yourself is true, so he can relax and get into the call — rather like a verbal massage.)

The best way to safely, politely, professionally handle these situations, i.e. keep safe while keeping a customer, is to stick to the cardinal ruleyour character’s story or profile. Making up those details, practicing saying them as responses (even if only out loud to yourself), and committing them to memory so that they drip from your mouth as easily as butter, will save your butt more than you know.

As for whatever information he shares with you, feel free to put it in your client notes if you think it will help you remember him or otherwise assist in a future call; then forget about it. (And remember, should his story change; don’t sweat it. Sometimes Usually they lie create their own fiction.)

However, there are situations in which his personal information is given to you specifically to use. This falls into the areas of blackmail, humiliation (NWS), and financial domination, specialized (complicated) areas which I will be getting into in depth as soon as I have enough time. For now, with so many new PSOs, I’d prefer to focus on how to professionally handle the safety issues.

Security & Payment Issues At MPS And Words On PSO Financial Domination Fraud

I had intended to hold off on this discussion of recent events at MyPhoneSite (MPS), in part because it has to do with financial domination, which is a fetish we have not really discussed here (and it’s quite a complicated one). But upon hearing from a number of panicked phone sex operators, I decided I needed to address the subject as simply as can be done at this time.

Working backwards, so to speak, we’ll begin with how things sit right now at MPS.

On February 24, the site posted this announcement:

Security Measures:
Very Important News: Due to some recent fraudulent activity on our network we have initiated new fraud detection software. We are also enhancing our customer verification methods. Due to this issue we have to temporarily suspend daily payouts. All withdrawals will be delayed approx. 7 days while we verify transactions and ensure that all sales are valid. This is for your protection and ours. As this process becomes automated we will return to daily payouts that are initiated within 24 hours of withdrawal.

While this is indeed disappointing to those with cash flow problems, there’s no reason to be upset. Other platform sites take even longer to process payments — and security is a damn good thing. Period. We can all hope that MPS will be able to return to the more quickly processed payments soon.

As for why MPS had to implement such changes…

On February 7, 2012, MPS sent an email regarding credit card processing rules:

ONLY THE AUTHORIZED CREDIT CARD HOLDER CAN DEPOSIT MONEY:
If we find that a website owner has logged in as the customer and deposited money the website owner’s account will be deleted and any further access will be banned. Never log in as the customer as this is a violation of our terms.

Unfortunately we have recently tracked fraud on our network due to a group of website owners processing credit cards without the customer’s consent from within the customer’s control panel. Due to this issue we have launched a full investigation. Please note that when a customer’s credit is charged by the website owner or operator on our network we will consider it as fraud.

This problem of bad apples raises it’s ugly, unethical, and illegal head everywhere — and even more often in the area of financial domination.

The very simple, too simple, oversimplified definition of financial domination is when a person gets off on the idea of being exploited for their money. It’s like the sugar daddy and princess thing on steroids. And far more complicated than most understand, which is why I wanted to wait to get into it. But here we are.

In phone sex, this fetish of financial domination is often referred to wallet rape (in which the PSO will demand gifts and tributes) and/or raise the rate games (in which the phone sex call ends and the caller had to call back paying a higher rate), all to simulate the caller’s fantasies about the girl literally taking his money.

Now, whether delirious with desire, or just plain trying to rip PSOs off, callers and players in the financial domination game will often ask, wistfully suggest, or even demand that girls sign into the caller’s account and take the money themselves. Some of these callers will be quite rude about it, leveraging their power as the client into threats to go to another PSO who will do it. These rude and “threatening” callers make me so happy to have them leave. And to report them to the platform service as well — for what they are asking the PSO to do is illegal. Not just against platform terms of service and site policies, but illegal. For what they are telling you to is to commit credit card fraud.

Don’t do it, ladies. You risk getting booted from the site/service and you risk legal action. Not exactly worth any possible short term gain.

Plus, any gain is usually temporary.

Despite their acting dumb, most if not all of these callers know what they are asking you to do. Do it, and they will lord it over your head, threatening to report you if you don’t do this or that for them (including demanding free calls, direct contract info, etc.). On top of that, they will complain to the platform site or their credit card company that they did not authorize the calls and transactions, and, as the site activities are monitored on servers, they will get the refund easy-peasy.

I’ve seen it all happen to girls. Girls I’ve warned. Girls who were burned. Badly.

Now, as angry as I get at the callers and clients who instigate fraud and abuse, I admit there are a (rare) few guys who are ignorant to what they are asking. And, in terms of good customer service, it makes sense (as well as dollars and cents), to err on the side of gracious educational benevolence.

When asked to perform such an illegal activity, simply, but kindly, explain why you cannot and will not do such a thing. You needn’t be rude, but remain firm. If they continue to engage in the subject, heck, it’s their dime, so to speak; just let them continue to ask the same question and receive the same negative answer. You can’t get in trouble for letting him ask, whine, beg, demand, or even threaten. Should he make any claims to the contrary, any investigation will prove your innocence.

But never ever participate in such fraudulent acts as logging into a client’s account or “taking” his money.

How To Avoid Awkward Phone Sex

Phone sex can be as much fun as being there in-person — or as awkward. If you don’t want fumbling, elbows everywhere, ow-you’re-on-my-hair, awkward kind of phone sex, keep reading.

While most of this blog is devoted to helping PSOs be successful, and therefore offers tips and techniques on how to satisfy phone sex caller requests, the truth is that successful phone sex is equally dependent upon the caller himself. The most satisfying phone sex calls are, like in-the-flesh sex, a matter of give and take.

There are four key components callers must note:

#1 Be comfortable, open, ready to dive in — but don’t dive in right away. Give yourselves some time to get comfortable, physically and emotionally. Spend a few minutes in casual chit chat. Do what you’d normally do when you first get on the phone or meet a person. Consider this the dinner part of the date and relax knowing the date is a sure thing.

#2 Don’t rush. Your phone sex date is a sure thing, so there’s no reason to rush right into it. I don’t say this as a PSO who just wants your money. The truth is, the best phone sex allows you to luxuriate in the companionship of the call. Assuming your phone sex call is not some masturbatory session for medicinal purposes, calls should not be whipped-off like some band-aid. Consider your time with a PSO a warm cozy soapy bath, not an efficient morning shower, and prepare to enjoy every moment. It honestly will bring about a more satisfactory call — and orgasm.

Should you have some reason for a short call (and anything under 30 minutes really is a short call), let your phone sex operator know that upfront so she can do her best to pace the call to meet your needs.


#3 Since the caller is the one who initiates the call, it is up to him to decide where this date goes. He does this by confessing what he really wants, either in messages before the call or in the call itself. The more specific your fantasy, the more specific the information you share. Your PSO is your phone sex partner and while those really great ones may seem like mind readers, they really aren’t; she can’t fulfill your fantasy unless you share it. So, guys, know what you want and let the phone sex operator know it!

#4 Be vocal. Phone sex is all about the aural thrills — which means talking, moaning, grunting, and other vocal utterances. So, callers, you need to give your PSO some feedback. Tell her when she’s hot; tell her when she’s cold. And tell her before the call is over so she can drive you wild with desire, not away from the phone.

PSOs, I’ve created a little whitepaper with questions and prompts to get callers comfortably chatting and confessing.

Thoughts On The Anderson Cooper Show On Working From Home, Being A PSO

Despite a promise from a show producer, I wasn’t notified in advance of the Anderson Cooper piece air date; apparently it aired yesterday. Overall, the specific discussion on phone sex work was handled tactfully and rather respectfully. Though I still have to giggle when phone sex work is considered so “unconventional” when sex work is “the oldest profession.” *wink*

What was most upsetting, actually, was that the PSO discussion was part of a larger conversion on Anderson Cooper, with the specific show’s focus on the issue of a controversial new study that says moms with jobs outside the home are healthier and happier than stay-at-home moms — and a claim from one working mom who says that moms who stay at home are “lazy.” Really? It’s 2012. Why are we still bothering with this “who are better moms” discussions? Distinctions with judgements made in blanket statements are just so useless. Unless, of course, your goal is like that of a school bully or “mean girl” — moves by the insecure to drag someone else down. My philosophy has always been to focus on how I can move myself up and out of situations I have defined as not ideal for me.

Judging a mom for working or not is as bad as judging a mom or any work working in the adult subject matter: It just shouldn’t be done.

But back to the study.

I didn’t see any mention of mothers who work from home, i.e. moms who do their paid work from the same place they carry out their non-paid work. I’ve a few ideas where they’d sit… But at this point, my numbers are smaller and my focus hasn’t been the systematical study of “happiness.” So I’ll keep that under my hat for another time. However, I will say that personal happiness is achieved when a person has their needs met; and we all have needs, many of which vary widely.

Phone Sex Secrets News

Lots of things going on behind the scenes here at Phone Sex Secrets. Along with working with my regular phone sex clients and PSO consultant work here, I’m working on another article for the wonderful Geisha Diaries and — what’s causing a bunch of flurry-scurry dialog — is the fact that yours truly is supposed to be appearing on a major television morning show in a segment about moms entering the phone sex business.I won’t reveal the name of the show until the camera crews have come and gone and I’m 100% positive that I’ll be on the show, but…

I’ve been told I’ll be part of the show and I’ve done some recruiting, so to speak, in terms of finding other mom PSOs to participate. That has caused a lot of negative response; not about me, really, but about any media attention at all.

Such negative response wasn’t unexpected. Nor was it unwarranted. The Media has a long and recent history of dealing dirty with the subject of sex work. And when you factor in “kids” in any context, it only becomes worse.

It’s stupid, really; if moms didn’t have sex, how did they become mothers?  And while we don’t like to accept that fact, millions of parents are having sex and participating in sexual entertainment in this world; that’s been going on as long as humans have been perpetuating. Yet mothers-be-damned for doing it. Doing it for free, with a spouse; worse if they make any money off it.

This is (*knock wood*) something I hope to be able to address on the show, along with a host of other facts. But the fact remains that if I make it onto the show, I will be one of those blurred-blobs with a fake name and not even using one of my phone sex personality names — so that my identity remains secret.

This I do for three reasons:

One, I don’t wish to break the veil of fantasy for any of my clients;

Two, unless and until our cultural myths and incorrect stereotypes about sex work and sex workers are corrected, revealing that you are engaged in any form or sex work can, and generally will, have negative consequences;

Three, while I have the right to work in any profession of my choosing, I do not have the right to “out” and potentially upset anyone in my family or circle of friends who will be, or fears, crucifixion for my “sins.”

Remember, safety first!

Promoting Your Phone Sex Business With Business Cards & Printed Materials

A number of phone sex operators, especially those who’ve come from escorting, light upon the idea of ordering business cards or even postcards to discreetly drop around town, when they travel, etc. This practice is quite common in escorting and other sorts of sex work; go to a bar or a club, drop off a few cards for the patrons to find. It’s a form of real world trolling for customers, but it has much more personal risk.

1. While phone sex is legal, police and legal authorities may interpret your phone sex promotional pieces as solicitation. Law enforcement need not be present for you to get busted; all it takes is the club owner and/or disgruntled patrons to be offended by your cards and, catching you red-handed, call the police. You may find yourself branded with a legal scarlet letter or at least an arrest, while the police let the district attorney sort out the legality of your actions. Frightening, annoying, embarrassing — and expensive.

2. Any woman seen dropping off business cards for adult work may find themselves with unwanted non-paying attention of stalkers or worse who follow them out the club door, to their car, etc.  And in many of these cases, crime completed or crime attempted, police intervention will find you the one with the arrest and the criminal walking away without even a hand-slap.

For these reasons, it is customary for groups of people from one agency or business to travel in packs to promote the club. Cute girls chat for a bit then make for the door while a few men hang back to offer business cards to those men with crestfallen faces who appear to be sincere, not undercover. A few cards and other printed materials mange to be left on the tables, chairs, etc. in the now vacated area, waiting to be found by those interested parties. The larger group, especially those comprised with some male members, will deter most stalker situations; but not necessarily members of law enforcement. However, more bodies in an already crowded place means more cover for the discreet slight-of-hand placement of promotional materials.

It is also important to note that dropping your promotional literature and getting away cleanly isn’t the end of your troubles though; anyone — business owner, employee, club goer, police officer — can harass and legally pursue you for any number of charges (from morality and obscenity to canvassing and employee rights) via the contact information on your cards, flyers, etc.

If you are certain you can manage to discreetly and safely promote yourself — if you really want to try this, you should know that, like virtual trolling, this real world application of looking for potential clients is more complicated than it sounds. Here are a few other practical points to consider:

* First and foremost, phone sex is legal for adults only and any materials you drop off should only be left at places where only legal adults congregate. Otherwise you and your business are open to solicitation of a minor charges along with those mentioned above.

* Second, consider the targeting of such marketing. Is the place you are papering with promotional materials really where your potential clients are? If not, it’s not effective. Not merely a waste of your time and resources, but it may even be detrimental to your business. (More on target marketing to come.)

Should you find yourself still considering the dropping-off of promotional materials, or otherwise in need of print materials for your phone sex business, you can get cheap printing and even free business cards from places such as VistaPrint and Moo.