Tag Archives: fetish

Important! More NiteFlirt Policy Changes

I tweeted about this earlier today; but if you PSOs (“Flirts”) logged in at NF today, you likely saw this notice about changes in terms of service (TOS) policies at the phone sex platform site:

Please note that NiteFlirt does not permit the following content:
Explicit or suggested willingness to violate NiteFlirt’s policies such as “no taboos” and “no limits”
Non-consensual content
Blood play
Needle play
Knife play
Abduction fantasies
Forced intoxication

Please remove any content relating to these topics before next Monday. On Tuesday, February 28, we will be removing all listings, profiles, and Goody Bags containing this content.
For more about NiteFlirt’s policies, see Play Fair Basics. Please join us in the forums for more information if you have comments and questions.

Annoyingly, the link to the forum link doesn’t really work; like most direct links to any forum post, you get bounced to the main forum page & have to search or scroll for it. Thankfully, it is a “starred” or “pinned” thread, entitled “Policy Changes – Please read!”.

The main post is as follows:

As of today, NiteFlirt will no longer permit the following:

  • Explicit or suggested willingness to violate NiteFlirt’s policies such as “no taboos,” “no restrictions,” and “no limits”
  • Non-consensual content
  • Blood play
  • Needle play
  • Knife play
  • Abduction fantasies
  • Forced intoxication

If you have any content relating to these topics we ask that you please remove it before Tuesday, Feb. 28. On Tuesday, we will unaccept all listings, profiles, and Goody Bags containing this content.

You’ll note we are prohibiting the popular terminology of “no taboos.” As many of you have pointed out, “no taboos” suggests that a Flirt is willing to violate our policies and therefore engage in content we do not permit (even if that is often not the intent). By prohibiting this content, and other content that suggests you are willing to circumvent our policies, we make great strides in ensuring NiteFlirt remains a safe place for you to run your business and we minimize the requests for prohibited content that you receive from customers.

In that vein, we are also changing the “Anything Goes” category name to “Extra Kinky.” You will see this change in the coming days.

This begs a very obvious question, “Why?” As you may already be aware, FetLife was hit with a huge blow a few weeks ago and are currently unable to process credit cards (you can read more about that here). In order to protect NiteFlirt, our Flirts, and our community as a whole, we have reevaluated our policies and decided to make some changes.

We are happy to engage in a discussion regarding this change, however we ask that you leave politics out of the discussion and remain respectful towards us and your fellow Flirts. While it’s hard to ignore the role that politics plays, let’s make our moms happy and not discuss politics at the dinner table. In addition, we will not comment on the situation at Fetlife or the decisions they have made.

Because tweets, replies, and such can be difficult to follow, I will repeat some tweets with key points in this post — with links to tweets in case you wish to share/participate on Twitter. While I am quickly posting this news regarding NF, I am not part of the company itself; these opinions are my own. And I do recommend logging in and reading the entire forum thread, as Erin is replying to specific questions (along with referring folks to have their profiles, listings, goody items, etc. reviewed by Play Fair).

These changes, as noted, are based largely on what happened at FetLife regarding their credit card processing. As we know, the limits credit card processing companies, merchant accounts, and other financial institutions place on sex workers and the adult industry at large are bullshit creations of censorship and proof of the Pornocalypse. I obviously do not like it; but this is a fact of life & livelihood we have to deal with.

[Unlike NF, I don’t mind political talk; my parents encouraged political talk at the table. However, I just don’t have the time to rant today (I am barely fitting this post in as it is!) So feel free to comment here, on Twitter, etc. regarding the politics an culture of discrimination.]

The main point here is to address issues of consent. I know it’s particularly silly when this is fantasy talk between consenting partners, a caller and a phone sex operator. But people (in this case, financial institutions) still don’t get how this works. So they try to protect and manage things for us.

[And here I will take a moment to rant. Note that already in the terms of service at NF, one cannot discuss sexual bondage without making it clear that at least one of the submissive’s limbs is not bound. See, there’s to be “no penetration with all four limbs bound.” Which is not only an affront to those of us with rape fantasies, but an insult to those of us who are rape survivors by acting as if one limb was free — or we were not bound at all — we were not really raped!]

But back to the issue at hand here.

NF now instructs all Flirts to remove any references to any abduction or rape fantasies. From the further discussion on the forum, it seems an any forced or coerced scenes, especially those involving penetration are now forbidden. This includes oral penetration, as in “forced intoxication.” However, currently, “forced bi” or “forced feminization” are allowed (apparently as it is seen as “dressing” and role play, not penetration).

Also included in this TOS revision, are matters of skin penetration — including fantasies involving castration, knife & needle play, and any blood play. However, none of this is new as all of it, including menstrual play, has always been off limits.

What is new, is that castration appears prohibited; even if the chemical kind. (Again, this is all fantasy play — no one, no matter how much he begs, actually is castrated. But, it’s thought-police time.)

In order to address the perception that the phrases “no taboos,” “no limits,” “anything goes,” and the like are communicating that PSOs are tossing aside TOS, NF is banning such phases and, presumably, their derivatives. Also, NF is changing the “Anything Goes” category name to “Extra Kinky.” It must be pointed out that “Anything Goes” is currently both a NF category and an NF subcategory; yet it is unclear at this time if this change will affect both the category and the subcategory. [Here, I could get lost in the whole general oddness of NF’s categories… But I won’t.] What matters to Flirts & callers alike is the fact that any properly edited listings in “Anything Goes” will supposedly be automatically changed to the new “Extra Kinky” title — and links to those listings will not be lost. (One assumes hopes this will be done in both the category and the subcategory and via proper redirection. Also, that it will also work seamlessly with the affiliate program.)

What happens if your profile, listing, Goodie, etc. is not properly edited to address these announced changes? They will be marked “unaccepted,” and, like the last time we went through this, using the “red thumbs down icon.” If this is truly how NF proceeds, your listings, at least, can still be found if clients have bookmarked them or have come to them via a direct link on a website, tweet, etc. (Which is, again, why I am always pushing you to have your own website; for clients to bookmark them.) If callers know and dial your direct extension number, lines should also work.

As I said on Twitter, it should be noted that callers will not see any such notice when they login. Nor has the official NF Twitter posted a damn thing about this. Which means, once again, NF is relying on PSOs to communicate the issue & placate customers. This is unfortunate. But savvy Flirts will be on this, ready to address client concerns; even if NF isn’t.

Again, I strongly urge any PSOs using NF to read in the forum, then appraise their profiles, listings, goodies, etc. and edit as necessary. For those who have NF compliant blogs & websites, you’ll likely need to scour and edit them as well. And to do so asap! The cut off date is Tuesday, February 28, 2017; which means Play Fair is going to be very busy, so get in line with any questions right now.

Tips For Creating & Selling Erotic Audio

My consultation clients know that this phone sex superhero’s personal weakness is making erotic audio files to sell. I know the mechanics, the tech side, of making them. I have, on occasions, made them for regular clients. I understand the monetary value of selling them. But what I, and many other PSOs, struggle with is what to record… What do I say to a stranger I do not know? I have tried reading stories I’ve written; but as I do not know who is listening, I end up sounding like a librarian at story time with toddlers. I know that may flip a few switches, but, honestly, they sound silly to me. ;)

Who better to ask about this than a professional who produces and sells erotic audio files AND a regular consumer of adult audio? Enter Muse, who has been making such audio recordings for six years, and Alice Wonder, a consumer of erotic audios. (If his name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the man behind Alice Wonder Miscreations who recently launched Naughty.Audio mentioned here.) I asked both of them to share their insights and experiences — happily, both were generous enough to agree.

I know you are just one person, but what do you think customers are looking for when they purchase erotic audios?

Muse: Anonymity, ease of use; not having to interact, really.

Alice Wonder: I was raised in a very puritanical environment, and I am a naturally shy person. That combination makes it difficult for me to ask a PSO to fulfill a particular fantasy I have or if she is the right PSO to help me explore something. However by listening to her audios, and she discusses a particular kink, I feel safer discussing it with her when I call. For me, audio recordings give me a feel for the imagination of the PSO and whether or not we enjoy the same kind of role plays. I want my mind stimulated on a call. They also give me fantasy inspiration.

In addition to helping me find the right PSO to call, I also particularly enjoy tease audios for the sake of the erotic stimulation. I like to close my eyes and just listen.

I know you are just one person, Alice, but what are you looking for in adult audio?

Alice Wonder: Personally I like to be surprised. If the first time I listen to it I can predict what is going to happen, I may still enjoy the audio but I really prefer it when I can not figure out what is coming next. I like audios that have a fun aspect to them. Fun is positive and puts me in a very good mood.

On Twitter we discussed that there’s more feedback with live one-on-one phone sex calls than with recordings. (I’ve written about this on my phone sex promo Tumblr too.) This sort of live interaction is what I thrive on; the lack of it is what makes me, and other PSOs, so uncomfortable…

Alice Wonder: You know, I personally love giving feedback on phone sex calls, and when I read that discussion on Twitter I realized that I often do not give feedback on audios. I have given feedback on custom audios; but on non-custom audios, when I have given feedback at all, it been very short. I wonder if there is a psychological reason for that. I am going to try and find out.

After all these years in this business, I know something as little as hair or shoe color can be a big deal to a client. How do we know what to say, what buttons to push, when we don’t know who is listening?

Muse: Simple, we don’t.

I make things that appeal to me. And, I’m gonna get “meta” here, I think about my work as a catalog. So, I think, “How will this look when I stop?” Because Internet pirates will share and keep me ‘around’ forever. I’m also a writer, so I tend to have themes going throughout my work.

Should recordings be conversational, like leaving a voicemail message to a lover? Should they be performances or readings of erotic stories, with varying voices and the like? Should they me more voyeuristic, providing the sounds of sex? Should they be more like guided masturbation sessions, oral assignments? All of the above?! …I know the real answer is that it’s up to the performer’s own style — but based on your experiences, is there a “best practice”?

Muse: I do Erotic hypnosis, so I feel there’s a point where I go from clinical to teasing…

However, when I read erotica, as I have on Amazon, it’s more like a lover.

Alice Wonder: My favorite audios are those where the entertainer makes the audio feel like she is addressing me, leading me through a fantasy she created for me.

Do you think specific fetishes or niches are better for naughty adult audios?

Alice Wonder: This is hard to answer. I actually like to do exploration by listening to audios in different categories just to see if it turns me on. My personal favorite categories are cock-tease, coerced blowjob (Mistress coercing a straight submissive to give one to a man of her choosing), and erotic mind-fucking. However I like to listen a wide variety just to see what I like. That was one of my motives with Naughty.Audio, I wanted it to be easy to select a category and find several audios by different performers to listen to within that category.

Muse: Erotic hypnosis is amazing. I’m branching out and offering video — just my mouth in lipstick — blowing kisses, while I do monster girl themed hypnosis.

Is there an ideal length for an erotic recording?

Muse: I do shorter files of about 12 minutes; but some are 20-30 minutes.

Alice Wonder: When the audio is intended as an audio teaser for marketing, it should probably not be longer than 5 or 6 minutes. That’s long enough to build our desire, and leave us with that desire for wanting more.

When it comes to teasers, you mentioned that 5 or 6 minutes is a good length. That seems like quite a long time for me to talk to an unknown stranger who cannot converse back with me! Is a minute or two OK for a voice sample recording?

Alice Wonder: What I meant was that it shouldn’t be longer than 5 or 6 minutes. Many are shorter, and that’s fine. Around 3 to 4 minutes seems fairly common, and that is including her giving her website, phone number, and rate at the end.

For paid audios I do not think there is an ideal length. Well, I guess there is. If they go over half an hour, they probably should be split up into separate audios of 10 to 15 minutes. That lets me buy one to see if I like the series, and buy the others later if I do. If I already know I will like the series, it lets me buy the entire series at once for a small discount and feel good about having saved a few bucks.

Is there a preferred audio format?

Alice Wonder: From a strictly technical perspective, Ogg Opus. It provides extremely high quality at a much smaller file size than other common audio formats. However it is still relatively new, and a lot of players (e.g. iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc.) do not support it. Chrome, FireFox, Opera, foobar2000, and VLC do support it, however. Though Safari and Internet Explorer do not. Support looks like it is coming soon for Edge.

From a player support perspective, AAC is the best. When you come across an audio file than ends in .m4a it usually is AAC. It allows high quality for spoken content at a much smaller file size than MP3 for the same audio quality, and it is supported by every browser.

As a buyer, what price do you expect to pay for a “standard” adult audio? For a custom erotic audio?

Alice Wonder: For non-custom audios, I generally feel a dollar a minute is fair for audios under half an hour, but I have zero market research on whether or not that is a good price point. For custom audios, twice her phone sex rate. Again, I have no market research. Honestly, I usually use free teaser erotic audios as a tool to find PSOs I want to call and/or inspire fantasy. I do buy audios, but not terribly frequently.

How do you calculate your pricing?

Muse: I used to only do it by time, but I’ve spent SO MUCH on my equipment! Now I just go with my gut. If I want $20 for a file I’ll get it.

Do you create and sell custom audios? If so, do you charge more for them?

Muse: I do custom audios. It’s $50 a recording; no haggling, no 20 minute mark. I may not set a file length. Yes I charge more. Maybe because I’m working on a clock — I promise barring death or sickness the custom audio will be done in 3 days.

I know a number of adult content producers who offer custom works, including custom audio. And I know that adult content makers often put those custom works up for sale; which they can do as they own the copyright to the works. This seems ideal — then you know just what a client wants, can provide it, and perhaps may make a little more off your efforts if others buy it as well. But how do clients feel about this… Does such a practice bother you?

Alice Wonder: It only would bother me if I wrote the script. If she wrote the script, it wouldn’t bother me at all. If I wrote the script and she offered me something like another audio for free then it wouldn’t bother me at all. If she was a PSO I considered an online friend and she asked, then I would feel a sense of pride and would not want anything in exchange.

On sites like NF, you can sell erotic audio as a Goodie (a digital store item, similar to purchasing a “clip” of adult video), a Pay-to-View message (via a “Buy” button), and callers can pay per minute to listen to a “recorded call.” Other platform sites offer similar options. What are your experiences with each of those sales methods? Is one better than the other?

Muse: I loathe the recorded listing. I can’t honestly tell you why, I just… do. That option made more sense before pay to views… I love pay to views. I’m warming up to Goodies, as they allow you to group similar themed content. For example, cuckold fetish bags sell well.

Alice Wonder: Delivery of audios is a sore thumb issue for me. Custom audios are often delivered by e-mail and that has caused a lot of issues as they often are a larger file size than my mail server allows for attachments.

For non-custom audios, I like to be able to download them.

However what I really want (and want to create) is an audio store that lets me listen to any audio I have purchased in the past in my web browser, just by logging in to the system. I think that would be better for privacy, because it means I do not have to have the audio files on my local computer if I don’t want them there, and I think it would be good for the performer, because the listener could be easily alerted to new audios the performer has created when he logs in to listen, and the performer could potentially be given statistics telling her which audios customers bought that they listen to frequently. Download of course should always be an option.

To clarify, I haven’t bought erotic audios from NiteFlirt; I’ve bought from LDW and I’ve bought custom audios from PSOs directly.

[Just so you (and others) know, some of these issues mentioned, they can be avoided or addressed via NiteFlirt, where purchases are stored in your account in your File Player. You can download, or just stream from there. (This includes other media, like videos, as well.)

Also, regarding custom works, when I sell audio (or custom stories), I typically ask for a deposit via a Payment Request. Once that payment is made, I begin creating. When done, I send the finished work with the balance due in a Pay to View. That way, the client receives the item as soon as they make their payment. It avoids schedule/time difference delays as well as issues with file size. (Similar options are on most phone sex platforms.)]

What is likely to turn you off as a buyer?

Alice Wonder: It is really annoying when I purchase an audio and then have to open it up in an audio editor to remove noise and/or peak normalize it so the volume is proper. It has happened to me several times, and is one of my pet peeves; especially since the result is never as good as it would have been if working from the master. I would buy more if I was not scared of that somewhat frequent problem.

Aside from the technical issues, what else might turn you off as an audio buyer? Let’s say you have not purchased from a particular performer before but you see an audio listed which seems interesting, arousing… What sort of things might deter you from making that first time purchase?

Alice Wonder: Good question! I do not know the answer — but I do know I am turned off if there is no way to find out something more about the phone sex operator. If they do not have a blog/Tumblr that they use… If they either do not tweet, or if the only tweets they do have are quite obviously just auto generated.

If I can see how they react to people, it makes them more personal to me.

In general, what reassures you to go ahead and make a purchase?

Alice Wonder: Brutally honest here, lust. Something makes me really desire it.

The first erotic audio I ever purchased, the artist had a series of six and she ran a promotional that allowed us to download the first two for free in exchange for signing up at her site. I eventually bought the entire set because the first two left me wanting more.

Another time I purchased, it was a foot worship audio from a different performer. She wrote a blog about it where she had the beginning of the audio in text and it tantalized me into buying the audio.

To the PSOs, like myself, who feel awkward talking into a microphone to reach an unknown listener, what advice would you give?

Muse: I’m a writer, an erotica writer. So, I can script. I recommend it. But honestly, just jump in try it. It doesn’t hurt and you can always delete it.

If you try and feel it’s lacking, message me via NF. I do freelance script writing for a fee. My script services start at $5 depending on depth and topic.

Thanks to you both for sharing!

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose asap!

Yes, I am on Twitter! @PhoneSexSecrets

What You Can Learn About Culture From Sex & Sex Work

I was showing a PSO client how to use Google Trends yesterday when I spotted an interesting trend…

Question: According to Google, what region of the world has the highest probability of searching for femdom?

Answer: Syria.

(Click images for larger views.)

phonesexfemdomsyria

Not only has there been a growing interest in female domination services, but the increase in such Syrian searches appears to align with rise of the Syrian conflict or Syrian Civil War which began in 2011 with the Arab Spring protests.

Also, this fetish interest has sharply increased — some might even say it has “spiked” — in recent weeks. In fact, a closer look shows that Syria has a lot of related femdom searches — including a number of “Breakout” search terms, such as for feet, fetish, etc. In case you don’t know what “Breakout” means, it is defined by Google as a search term which grew by more than 5000%. Yes, 5000%!

syriafemdomfetish

Part of me wants to go down a deep rabbit hole and research the possible causes and connections. But that’s time, and time is money. So I’m just going to go with what I know about human sexuality and sex work in general:

1.) When human beings are stressed, there is a strong increase in sex drives especially in terms of desires of the kinky and taboo kind. (And what can be more taboo in a culture that demands women submit to men than femdommes?)

2.) Those professing extreme conservatism, be it religious or political, are often doing so to suppress their own taboo urges. (Can you say, “hypocrites”?)

If you, like I, are seeing an increase in such international callers (often most visible to me in the demand for all sorts of religious humiliation sex game requests), this may explain it.

Ignore Lines, Financial Domination & Other Femdom Phone Sex Games

For those of you interested in understanding financial domination, ignore lines, and other erotic humiliations in phone sex, there’s a great article at Sex Kitten: Ignore Me, I’ll Pay You; Blackmail Me, I’ll Pay You Again. I would have linked to this article, even if I hadn’t been included in it. Really!