Tag Archives: phone sex industry

The Exclusive Sin Cats Interview (Part 1)

sin-cats sincats phonesex cam dirty talkSin Cats is a relatively new phone sex site. It’s not truly a platform site, which means it is neither collecting payments nor taking a cut of transactions, but it is far more than a marketing or advertising opportunity as it does offer the option to safely and anonymously connect calls and chat. Intrigued, I sat down to discuss with Mary Bennet, who is in charge of Social Media Marketing and Promotions for Sin Cats. Here, in this first part of my interview, Bennet gives us an overview of the new site. (In part two, we get down into the real nitty-gritty – so stay tuned!)

Hi Mary, please give us a general company/site overview.

Sin Cats is an adult network in which people from all over the world can make friends, connect, send messages, share images, videos, voice files and have fun. Our website is new (launched officially on July, 11 2015). However, prior to this we had been in the adult industry for over 12 years, and have experience in membership sites, webcam, phone sex, web design, hosting and social networking. We spent approximately 6 months in the development stage before launching Sin Cats.

Our website is an open platform for adults that wish to promote themselves and network with others. This does not simply relate to phone sex, but includes webcam, media sales (pictures, videos, audio), modeling and even professional services such as content writing, website promotion, website design, etc.

Currently our staff consists of two full-time developers, a marketing director, and two customer service reps.

Open registration is now taking place and we are working with several websites to find talented entertainers that wish to create a profile on our website.

What is the main goal of Sin Cats?

Our goal is not to compete with existing pay per minute platforms, but to provide an alternative venue where adult performers can promote themselves and even work independently, if they wish.

Sin Cats is not a phone sex service in the traditional since. In reviewing this industry we determined that there were several well-established phone sex companies and to create a new one would be redundant. Therefore, we created a truly unique alternative that gives performers the option to work independently or promote their call buttons and links from existing services.

Unlike most platforms, we allow performers to be independent. This means that they can speak directly to the customers, work-out alternate payment options, and even use various forms of communication (including Skype, Google Voice, etc.).

We also have an amazing user-to-user call system that includes audio/video and text chat. However, it is not required that you use our call system. We have included a screenshot on this at the bottom of this interview.

sin_cats_example_profile_pageHere is a list of things you can do on Sin Cats:

1. Give your private email address to customers.

2. Use and post your own billing methods (Amazon Wish Lists, Dwolla, Netspend, Phone Card, etc.). Basically any method you wish to use to transfer funds directly from the customer to you is accepatble.

3. Post or sell your IM contact details (Skype, AIM, etc).

4. Sell pictures and charge customers directly and in any format you wish.

5. Sell videos and charge customers directly and in any format you wish.

6. Sell audio files and charge customers directly and in any format you wish.

7. Post FREE call codes and display them publicly on our call code board (this will get you tons of new customers)

8. Contact customers off-site through any means that is acceptable to both you and the customer (phone, email, Skype, etc.)

9. Use our website for adult dating. (Yes, you can actually hook-up with customers if you want — please note that this can be dangerous and therefore you need to use precaution!)

10. Post payment options to other pay per minute platforms. If you have accounts on other websites and wish for customers to pay and connect with you through those sites you can post call button codes, links etc.

11. Give your private phone number to customers. We have a user-to-user call system option that provides completely secure and anonymous connections from anywhere in the world; however, if you want to give a client your private phone number you are welcome to do so.

12. Text customers from your phone.

13. Use our website for adult networking beyond traditional phone sex and webcam. This includes modeling, content writing, website design, website services (development, adverts, etc).

You can do practically ANYTHING you want on Sin Cats (as long as it is legal of course).

Our goal is to help provide a vibrant and open platform for adult performers to network, make money, and ultimately have far more choices then what is currently available on existing pay per minute phone sites.

We have heard terrible stories of PSOs not receiving payment, losing money from chargebacks, losing 50% (or more of their earnings due to website fees), getting kicked off of a website for sharing off-site contact information, etc. We believe that there needs to be a site that caters to adult performers that wish to be independent, or at least have an additional option from the traditional pay per minute website.

Just to be absolutely clear, operators allowed a profile page or blog space which allows them to link to their own websites, social media, profiles at phone sex sites, etc. right?

Yes! In fact we have included a wide range of amazing features. Each operator has their own profile page, search terms, blog (and blog RSS feed), friend section (to send and receive friend requests), sidebar friend widget that displays who is online and a quick ‘send message’ option), image gallery, video section, audio creation section, media library (where images, videos and audio files can be uploaded, stored and sent to users via email or embedded), private inbox, newsletter system and more.

Sorry if that was a run-on sentence, it’s just that we have so much that is included in the operator section that it is hard to fit into one sentence.

Operators are also free to promote their own websites, call buttons, social media and profile links to other phone sex sites, as you can see in this example profile page (image on the left side of this post).

As mentioned, part two of this Sin Cats interview will be published tomorrow!

UPDATE: Part Two is here.

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose.

Yes, I am on Twitter! @PhoneSexSecrets

An (Unfortunate) Update About Phone Sex Platform MPS (MFT Services)

This is a difficult post to write… Many of you know that I have long been a fan, even a cheerleader, for phone sex platform site MyPhoneSite (MPS); but as I feel obligated to report on realities in the phone sex industry, I must report when things have changed — including, and perhaps especially so, when they change for the worse. Here we go….

Back at the end of January (2015), I was alerted to a rate percentage change at phone sex site MPS. This alert, came not from MPS proper, but rather in the form of a blog comment.

While waiting for Angelica to reply, I searched all my email accounts for such a notice from MPS. I found none. I logged into my MPS accounts to see if there was an alert or notice there. I found none. On February 8, 2016, I sent emails to MPS owner Gary & assistant Samantha, asking about this issue.

Hello again,

Once again I am hearing rumors that MPS is either A) going under or B) changing the operator split. I’ve received no official emails about either of these things, but some girls have stated they have (especially that the split is now or is going to 50/50?!). Please advise.

Lynn

I wasn’t super hopeful (after all, they had not fully responded to several other emails of mine, resulting in unresolved issues), but I had to try.

I received no reply.

In the weeks that followed, I sent additional emails to both of them. I also left multiple voice mail messages — for each of them. I received no reply of any sort. None. Zip. Nada.

In fact, I received no comment at all from anyone from MPS until February 25, 2016, when I had left one last set of voice mails and emails stating that if they did not respond, I would be writing a post without their input.

Gary’s response was this:

Thanks for sending me an email. To answer your questions. A. MPS is not going under. Actually we are quite busy with our new phone system. B. Yes we notified our active website owners that there is a percentage change due to a new charge back policy. We didn’t send this email to you since you are an affiliate on the system.

If there is anything else, let me know.

Within minutes, I sent the following in reply:

Gary, I have a Super User account & numerous profiles, including with this very email address, and I have checked with other PSOs I know who use MPS and NONE OF US received any notice regarding the rate change. Please explain.

His reply:

We try to avoid sending announcements through the system since it sends an email to each email in the system which results in massive duplicates of emails. We sent this email to our active website owners on payroll. We see the commissions you earn as an affiliate, hence we didn’t send you the email. I will have Samantha forward the email to you. Let me know what operators didn’t get the email so I can reach out to them personally.

Thanks,
Gary

Note, there was still no confirmation of the exact percentage split.

I replied with this:

So operators who were not deemed “active” did not receive any notices?? When you log in, there is no notice either. Which means plenty of us have had our rates changed without notice of any sort. Even the rate calculator & percentage split notices are absent. Does this seem ethical to you?

Nearly 30 minutes passed & no response; our conversation had stalled. I sent this:

See, this is the problem. MPS has issues & communication breaks down when things are difficult. Given my recent issues with this pattern, there is little I can do to make those who ask me feel better about how they are treated, what they read online in rip-off reports, etc. This also includes callers who are not comfortable with MPS’s reputation & refuse to make calls with me there. I really wish we could work through an entire conversation about the issues so they could be clarified.

(More on such history here.)

The proverbial crickets chirped in the silence that followed.

But I tried again:

You leave me no choice but to run with the story presenting this situation as it is with little-to-no information from you. It’s really disappointing. To see where things once were, to where they are now… I wish you would reconsider going silent at times like these. It doesn’t help the rumors surrounding MPS, all of MFT Services, and the overall reputation.

Nearly an hour later, Gary responded:

Thank you for bringing up these issues. Due to the issues with the internal mass notification system, we chose to email individual active providers who are actively on payroll. If there are certain operators that need to be contacted, please let me know so I can do so immediately.

We are aware there are issues with support and are looking to resolve those by the end of the 1st quarter. We are looking into setting up a new proactive support system with a support team since Samantha and myself are often swamped with operating issues. If there is any other issues that need to be clarified please let me know.

From my phone, I replied:

This is a continuation of your defense of a poor situation, but is not info requested which is needed to clarify the realities for operators now.

Gary replied:

What info do you feel that is not clarified for the realities for operators? I don’t feel I am in defense when I am just providing our acknowledgement of the communication issues and our plan to resolve issues of lack of support.

I have requested Samantha to forward you the new charge-back information.

You haven’t provided the operators that need to be contacted as well, I am more then willing to reach out and communicate to the providers, but I need to know whom first.

Finally, the information from Samantha arrived. (This would be nearly three hours since Gary had stated he’d requested Samantha to send it to me; nearly 3 weeks since originally requested.) This is supposed to be an (undated) copy of what MPS sent to so-called “active” operators:

Dear Valued MPS Website Owner:

We would like to inform you of a change that will take effect next week.

The Bad News:

Due to ever increasing site-wide operational costs, the numerous customer charge-backs and the extremely high fees that go along with these charge-backs, we will be adjusting all web owner percentage rates to an even 50/50 starting on February 1, 2016.

Operational costs include such things as website hosting fees, website maintenance and upgrades, credit card processing and merchant bank fees, phone system and connection fees, and customer charge-backs and fees.

——————————————————————————————–

The Good News!

When the web owner percentage rates changes on February 1, 2016, ALL calls taken from this point forward, will NOT be subject to charge-backs. This means that NO funds will be removed from ANY provider payouts ever again!

Please note that customers are able to charge-back up to 6 months of transactions. So, if a customer charges backANY calls taken BEFORE February 1, 2016, providers will still be held responsible. But, on August 1, 2016, which is 6 months after the new rate change, no provider will be held responsible for ANY customer charge-backs!

*Exception: Providers will only be held responsible for charge-backs that have resulted from provider/customer fraud*

——————————————————————————————–

Please keep in mind that it does costs a great deal of money to run this entire pay-per-minute phone system and everything that goes on behind the scenes of which you are most likely not aware. Also, remember that you are working on this platform, receiving your MPS websites and own adult business at NO cost to you!

All adult-related businesses are considered high risk and there is no way to prevent customers from doing charge-backs. However, we do the best we can, but unfortunately, this is the cost of doing business in the high risk adult industry.

Warmly,

Samantha

Unhappily noting the rate change had taken effect weeks ago, I took on the task of responding to Gary’s email, collecting the specific questions I had asked (via email and telephone), which neither he nor Samantha had addressed. (Thankfully, I am a very experienced and professional PSO who takes very detailed notes on any and all phone contact I have, including the MPS voicemail messages I’d left.) This is what I sent in response:

Questions which still remain:

You mentioned a “new phone system” – what is it? And is this new system for MPS only, or the other MFT sites?

Related, do the rate percent changes affect the other sites/programs as well?

I *still* do not have proper information on these other sites. After nearly a year of stating you’d get back to me, you referred me to Samantha, who bailed on our appointment; so I have no idea about each of them or their differences. Would anyone care to actually address those? If so, reply with the following (for each site):

URL:
What is special about it, how it differs from MPS:

Are there any plans to notify operators/website owners/super users of these changes, either with an alert when they login, resuming the rate calculators, or anything at all?

I did receive the email from Samantha, thank you. But this is 3 weeks after initial inquiry. For years now you have been mentioning when communication & support issues will be resolved; clearly it is not a priority & it shows. And if I am hearing so much about this, you can bet it is costing MPS business, both on the operator & caller sides. I really, really wish this would be a priority & corrected. It was once what separated MPS from the other platforms in a positive way; now it is being discussed in terms of MPS being, and I quote, “the worst.”

This communication issue when combined with the rate change is very troubling. While the notice mentioned costs of chargebacks, hosting, etc., this is no different than what other platforms offer and they are not changing rates like this. Anything you’d like to state about that?

I have contacted the operators which have contacted me, but so far, none of them have given me permission to send you their contact info. (About half have replied, stating they are more comfortable reading when I post at my site.) If/when I receive permission, I will send you their information.

What do you think the response was?

If you guessed “Nothing,” then you are correct. There was no response.

This despite clearly articulated questions (all which would be within the parameters of either #1 being a registered PSO on their system or, #2 as someone with whom they have done official business with, including interviews, assisting MPS regarding issues with other PSOs & clients, etc.). This silence also in spite of my expressing my own frustration regarding aborted problem solving and other communication issues.

An hour later, I sent an email stating that I was still awaiting word on this.

Still no reply.

The next day, February 26, 2016, I tried one last time. I sent a “Last call” email, noting I would be making my post without any additional information or input from them if they did not respond with the info requested — an outcome they must be more than happy with as I have heard nothing from them whatsoever, and today is February 29, 2016.

To ReCap, Here’s What You Really Need To Know:

* If you are a phone sex operator, “master operator”, website owner, or “super web owner” at MyPhoneSite, your earnings have been cut. As of February 1, 2016, you only receive 50% of calls & store sales. Yes, this is true even if you never received any such email notice, no alert when you logged in, nor other notification of any type.

* If you never received any email notice of the above changes, you are likely not considered to be “active.” (I was not considered “active” in January, 2016, when the notice went out, even though as an operator I had calls at MPS in October, 2015, and had store sales in January of 2016!) This means you are not likely to receive any notices about changes in rate, policy, TOS, etc. going forward.

* Whatever you think of my communications with MPS, or even my personal communication style, it’s clear that MPS is suffering from some major communication issues — primarily that of not caring about communication with members (at least PSOs, anyway). This is a continuing negative trend as documented here. Regarding these communication issues, Gary states they “will resolve those by the end of the 1st quarter.” That would be by the end of March, 2016.

* Phone sex callers who use MPS, if you see your PSOs raising their rates, this is why. Their earnings for services provided have been cut by 10-20 percent.

* The matter of MFT’s other sites/programs dates back to May, 2014, when Gary promised an interview/update regarding all of MPS and other sites belonging to parent company MFT Services (which also has PhoneSexBook.com, PhoneMoreSex.com, and a premium white label service; there may be more, but… well, you’ll see). Roughly eight months later, Gary passed me along to Samantha. We corresponded briefly before that talk too was abandoned; it was restarted in July of 2015, culminating in scheduling an appointment for a telephone conference/meeting which Samantha simply bailed on. Neither she nor Gary expressed any interest in contacting me “when things settle down and you have a working system, can keep appointments, maintain communications, etc.” Which is likely a sign bunch of signs unto themselves.

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose first!

Yes, I am on Twitter! @PhoneSexSecrets

The Exclusive Phone Sex Secrets Arousr Interview

While many phone sex companies and platform services rely on the PSOs to do the bulk of promotion, Arousr is one company that actively pays for advertising to promote their site, app, and services. Gracie’s already provided a rather detailed review of Arousr, which offers sexting, phone sex calls, and video chats; but I wanted to know more about the company and its philosophy. So via email, I spoke with Patrick Roy, Assistant Marketing Manager at Arousr.

There’s a lot of competition phone sex, sexting, video or cam chat. Why would Arousr want to enter the market?

Arousr is simply the logical progression for our current phone sex business. We did not simply enter the market, we were instrumental in building it. Current Canadian and US laws, as well as, Google’s impact on the Internet in regards to the adult entertainment industry has resulted in blocking access to a global market for phone sex.

Having been in the business for the past twelve years we saw the need for mobile solutions for both our clients and our chat hosts. We built Arousr from the ground up specifically for mobile phones to ensure 100% discretion. This is no ordinary application, you can chat using both direct SMS texting or download and use the App. We think the application itself is the best way because it has special features, but of course you may not want to have an icon on your phone and therefore you can simply SMS your favourite girl. Each chat host has her own designated mobile number which is used for both texting and calling so you can easily just add her to your contacts list. There is no other service like this that enables such direct and easy access to phone sex. We have numbers in USA, Canada, and UK as well as a variety of ways to pay for the services including CC, Interact, (Canada)carrier billing (UK), and prepayment via Western Union (US). Information regarding billing is here.

How is Arousr different? What is Arousr’s brand?

Now, that might be a tough question for some, but I would have to say that Arousr is just totally different and we like it that way.

We are different in many ways.

1) We wanted our brand to be fun, controversial, and help to empower women in the industry to be able to take control of their own lives and sexuality. We feel we have succeeded in doing that not only by hiring chat hosts but we also have a number of women in management.

2) Not only do our chat hosts earn money from chatting, sexting, and video chat, but they also have other options to earn money. We offer a very lucrative mobile affiliate program, in which chat hosts can share links on their own websites and social media platforms and earn money when a customer joins via that link. Our hosts can earn money for entering social media contests and promotions that we have throughout the year as well.

3) Our chat hosts (girls, gay men, and tvts) have the freedom of choosing when to work and how they want to work. Some only want to engage in phone sex, while others like sexting, and some are comfortable in video chat. The freedom to choose what works best for them allows them to create their own business. We do, however, have round-the-clock hosts to ensure the phone is always answered.

4) We really did not like what we were seeing in any of the current applications that were available. They simply do not have control over the users profiles and thus they also have no idea how old some of the users are. Arousr is for Consenting Adults only. All hosts are screened and verified as legal adults. And we keep all proof of age. The internet is bombarded with selfies and you do not have any idea if they are real or fake. Arousr girls profiles are updated frequently so you can be assured they are real girls.

5) Guys like to sext and they want girls to answer them. Searching through hundreds of profiles for girls who will answer back is futile, as most girls do not sext with random strangers. This is a fallacy as I am sure you can attest to.

6) Our video chat is not a “cam” service. This is a ONE on ONE video chat session. The experience is a bit more personal between the chat host and the client. Often our chat hosts are treated more like the clients’ phone girlfriend than a random stranger.

 

How important is advertising to Arousr’s business model?

Advertising and affiliates make up the bulk of our business model but we would be nothing without the chat hosts that we have. Have you seen them? Enough said.

licked it arousrWith our social media efforts we try to be fresh, fun, and controversial. It is not out of the ordinary to see a post saying something like this “I licked it” Arousr campaign.

What does Arousr do to try to reach potential customers and stay in the minds of current customers?

We offer 100 free credits for anyone who joins Arousr as well as a number of promotional credits for repeat clients via push notifications. Whenever a new host becomes employed with us we encourage our clients to meet them and we stay current on social media to inform them of who is online and what we have to offer.

Our goal is to be the best in the business. Competition is nothing but a means in which to improve yourself. All you have to do is do it better. We are always improving the application and adding new features to it almost every week.

It seems you have to provide cam/video chat sessions &/or photos of yourself to become a chat host. (In other words, no ability to purchase content.) Is this true? And if so, why?

Yes, it’s true. We did not go into this blindly; we knew what we were doing. We wanted to be different. You can find adult websites and porn everywhere and all you will get is some sexy images, but we wanted Arousr to be a more personal connection between the client and the host. You cannot do this if you’re merely an image or populated content. This is a more real personal experience and is great for help with sexual issues, exploring fantasies, or simply engaging in conversation with a real person.

Also, our video chat is not a “cam” service. This is a ONE on ONE video chat session. The experience is a bit more personal between the chat host and the client. Often our chat hosts are treated more like the clients’ phone girlfriend than a random stranger.

Interested? Here’s where you apply.

Don’t Give Into Stupid Demands

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose first!

Every few months or so I get emails from consult clients about whether or not they should accept PayPal for calls or other services. So when Emma Evans posted this tweet, I was reminded that I should make a post about this I can send folks to as a reference.

As Evans states, making such moves puts you at risk of being booted from the platform site(s) you use. I’m not joking. Even mentioning at NiteFlirt, for example, other platform sites you use can get you banned for going against Terms Of Service (TOS). So even if your client, however softly, threatens that you’ll lose them if you don’t accommodate their request, you have to ask yourself if being blacklisted at the platform you work at is worth the discussion.

Aside from this practicality, there are other issues.

Even if the offer comes to you via another source, say direct email, contact off your website, Twitter, etc., there’s just no reason to take payments for services outside the phone sex platform site. (This includes clips sites, cam sites, etc.)

One of the number one “requested payment option” sites is PayPal. This should never, ever, be considered. It’s not safe (for either party) as A) no adult services or products are allowed to be sold there, B) personal info is shared, and C) PayPal is not a bank, so they can – and do – freeze accounts and pull funds. (Even if there is, as I tweeted, a class-action lawsuit settlement offering some compensation for those who have suffered through this, it is not commensurate with what all can be lost.) Much of this is true for other online payment processing options. Here I refer you to Sex Work Helpfuls who does a good job of staying up to date on payment options. (See also.)

However, there is much more to consider.

From an ethical and legal point of view, none of these options provides the protection that you are working with a legal adult. It is not worth risking all the potential woes of talking about mature subject matter with minors. Part of what your fees at the platform sites cover is making sure callers and clients are of legal age to participate in such things. Leave those platforms, and you risk much more than your banking problems.

Last, but certainly not least, why would you consider switching platforms? What is the upside, really?

Oh, sure, some of the clients suggesting other options will kindly tell you how they are thinking of you — how you won’t be “giving away” such a large percentage of your money via platform fees. But then these same callers will begin to suggest or even demand that you lower rates because of that. They did you a favor; now do them one. And then they have a million other requests or demands…

Once you acquiesce to one request or demand, how can you stand firm on the next?

Clients who whine, bully, and threaten are not worth keeping. There is always the next boundary they wish to pass.

It doesn’t matter if the client’s request or demand is against TOS or your own personal boundaries, you have the right to refuse. Breaking the rules includes breaking your own rules.

How do you best handle clients who wish to break the rules? Femdommes often have it easier, of course, as they can simply order subs to stop. But here are the five steps I employ with renegade clients:

1) Redirect. Like small children, many clients can easily be brought back to the proper path of behavior with a simple redirect. With toddlers you can jangle a ring of keys or swing a shiny or bright toy; with callers, verbally dangle your breasts, mention their fetish, etc.

2) Gently remind. A simple, but firm, “That’s not allowed!” or “Oh, I don’t think so!” combined with a giggle often works wonders. Then feel free to resume the story or conversation as it was before the inappropriate interruption.

3) Remind more strongly. Firmly state, “No, I’m not going to do that.” Pushier clients may need a, “We’ve discussed that before, and that’s not an option.” If you’d like, think of this as a courtroom scene and you’re the lawyer saying, “Asked and answered. We’re moving on.” Once the message has been received, resume play.

4) Put your foot down. Firmly state that their request is making you uncomfortable — and that if they persist you will be ending the call or communication.  If/when they accept the rules, get back on track with a, “Now, where were we…”

5) Protect yourself. Hang up, block, and even report the caller as you deem appropriate.

If there’s one thing you can count on in phone sex (or any sex work, for that matter) is that sooner or later you’re going to run into clients who want to get discounted or free services, or otherwise push your limits. It’s rather a small percentage of clients; but the longer you are in business, the more likely you are to run into these guys. Know your own boundaries. Firmly set them. And don’t let anyone push past them.

NF, You’re Tweeting All Wrong

The other day, this Tweet appeared on my Twitter timeline:

As you can imagine, I felt the foam forming at the edges of my mouth.

In fact, for weeks I’d been trying to ignore other similar tweets…

But that one discussing which fetishes pay better pushed me over the edge, forcing me to let a rant out.

Why would you discuss the business side of phone sex in front of callers or potential callers?!

Now, you might argue that NiteFlirt has two audiences, callers and Flirts, and so publicly addressing them with one account is fine. Except for the fact that most consumers of phone sex do not wish to see how the sausage gets made, so to speak. And even when they think they wish to, it’s bad for your business. Even when you are not discussing your pay rate or aspects of your character creation, you are focusing on negative issues — and 140 characters is not the best way to deal with concerns positively. Such negative things leave a bad taste.

At best, discussing business aspects in front of callers disrupts the mood that creates a hard-on. At worst, it removes the veil of fantasy.

Certainly all of this is more ethical than others. (Some companies don’t even exist yet, but are actively tweeting & retweeing about phone sex, i.e. Call Siren.) But even when your marketing and customer relations are ethical, you have to ask yourself, “Are they effective?”

I’d like to appreciate NF’s efforts to increase awareness and traffic at the phone sex platform; I really would. But they keep doing it so wrong.

Since they don’t understand how to blog, how social media works, or how the Internet works, it’s pretty clear the folks at NF don’t really know how to market themselves to a specific target audience. Which is why I am glad they are not in the practice of paying for advertising, paid posts, etc. as other platform sites are doing. They’d likely get that wrong too.

Phone Sex Is Sex Work – It’s In The News, & You Can Learn From It

If you’re following me on Twitter, you’ve likely seen my tweets about Margaret Cho’s recent championing of sex workers & their rights. Cho knows what she’s talking about. Before her comedy career took off, she, like Whoopi Goldberg, paid the bills working first as a phone sex operator. After her PSO work, Cho worked as a dominatrix. While Cho doesn’t elaborate on why she left phone sex, she does say why she gave up being a femdom:

“I was lazy,” she said. “I lacked empathy, and,” referencing the job’s requirement for administering floggings and other forms of corporal punishment that a client might request, “I had a bad arm.”

Well, the self-described laziness may be why she left phone sex… Or the bad arm? (Phones back then were heavier!) Whatever the case, I’m thrilled that Cho is putting a positive spotlight on the needs of sex workers.

But still, Cho’s story illustrates that even when you are open to sex work, you may not be well-suited for it. And even when you are good at one form of sex work, you may not be happy with another.

Which brings me to another news story…

Before Lea Grover became a “mommy blogger” (or even a mom), she helped put herself through college by working as a phone sex operator. While she seemed to enjoy the work, found it within her skill set, was challenged and even amused by it, loved the casual way she could work from home, felt shameless enough about it to confess her work to her parents, and even felt it was a safer alternative to other jobs, Grover eventually left the work because she found it depressing.

In the original article at Cosmo, Grover confesses:

But after a few months, I started to feel depressed each time I logged my phone onto the call network. I dreaded the phone ringing, and I went from eating healthy as I worked to binging on ice cream and cookies, pretending to find strangers’ masturbation fascinating.

It took a long time to figure out what was bothering me about my job, but after listening to some restaurant industry friends complain about their patrons, it struck me. Nobody, not a single caller, had ever said, “Thank you.”

And none of them had ever said, “Goodbye.”

They were so thoroughly wrapped up in their exhibitionism, in themselves, that I might as well have been a pre-recorded moaning device. And while I didn’t exactly expect callers to care about me as a human being, night after night filled with dozens of people hanging up on me mid-sentence as though I didn’t exist started to really hurt my self esteem and self confidence.

So I stopped doing phone sex and got a job working retail, like a “normal” college student.

In case you skimmed that — or missed the irony — let me point something out: Grover finally put a finger on just what was bothering her about her work as a PSO after hearing the complaints of others working in another service occupation, the restaurant industry. (And then she left for yet another service industry, retail, which I can tell you, isn’t any better.)

On any give day, any given shift, any person working in a restaurant (front of the house or the back) goes without the expressed thankful recognition of the work that they do for the people they serve. And if there’s no appreciation for those working in the noble profession of feeding someone — arguably some of the most nurturing work a person can do — how can you expect it to be any different in sex work where the “work” aspect is largely denied?

It is a sad fact that few people bother to acknowledge, let alone thank, those who serve them. If this pervasive cultural attitude offends or hurts you, you should not be working in any sector of the service industry, period. And this definitely includes phone sex and other forms of sex work, as sex workers are , sadly (stupidly!), largely disrespected the world over.

Since sex work is such a personal, intimate service, I can fully understand Grover’s depression over the lack of recognition of her as a person. Good for her for leaving! As my consultant clients can tell you, I’m aware of how taxing the specialized nurturing work of sex work can be and that I take great pains to address the potential personal and emotional impacts of this work upfront.

But even as I do not in any way blame or condemn Grover (or others) who feel this way about being a phone sex operator (or any form of sex work), I feel it’s important to point out a few things…

Honestly, in all my years of being a sex worker (from escorting to phone sex work), I can count the number of times I’ve endured a departure without a “Thank you,” on one hand. …OK, as it has been decades now, perhaps two hands. Even if it at times it sounds more obligatory than heart-felt, I’m used to being thanked for my services.

And the only times I’ve been hung up on while speaking on the phone was when a caller was shockingly interrupted by a coworker, family member, etc.. He may have hung up in a frightened hurry; but generally he’ll contact with apologies later, often with a tribute. (And if there’s no apology, I do not hesitate to block.)

Why do I believe my experiences have been better than Grover’s or others with similar stories?

It’s all about how you handle your business.

Grover’s use of “call network” indicates to me that Grover was not an independent phone sex operator, but rather was at the mercy of a phone sex company; she just took the calls sent to her. Whether or not this was true for Grover, there are things indie PSOs can do to avoid such terrible callers and clients.

Primarily, it’s all about how you position yourself in the market. Present yourself (via photos, descriptions, blog posts, tweets, rate, etc.) as an easy, quick, and cheap thrill — in cheap publications and at classless sites — and “easy, quick, and cheap” is all you’ll be to prospective callers and clients. They’ll treat you as such, with all the rudeness it implies.

However, if you present yourself as a quality service provider, placing your ads and performing your marketing in more pedigreed places, you’ll attract a higher quality clientele. Live up to those high standards and not only will clients thank you for it, but you’ll keep those classier clients. Phone sex is, after all, a luxury purchase; express how true that is for your individual services and you’ll avoid the many of the rude, bargain-basement, one-minute wankers. The few asshats you do run into won’t burn you out or upset you because you’ll be treated well overall.

(Oh, and avoid working traditional “after bar” hours, when cheap drunks call for quickies too.)

Of course, there are plenty of PSOs who happily bank on short, cheap calls. Rude or not, they take the money and run.

I’m not one of them. I’d rather spend two hours with one caller than try to corral and accommodate dozens of others in the same time-frame. But, hey, that’s me.

Fundamentally, it’s up to you to decide. First, whether or not this line of work is a good fit for you. And then, if you think it is, decide what you can tolerate, what you enjoy, and how to get the callers and business you want. If you need my help with that, I’m available for consultations; rates & info here.

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose.

Today’s Phone Sex Tip: As The Weather Cools, Don’t Let It Ruin Your Hot Time

As the weather changes, so do the ambient or background noises in your phone calls and audio work.

Air conditioners, fans, etc. are now being powered down if not outright replaced by furnaces and heaters. Whatever adjustments you’ve made in your home to deal with the changes in the season likely affect the sound quality of your phone sex calls and audio recordings. So I remind you, PSOs and callers alike, to review these tips.

Collaborative Phone Sex Operator Opportunties

A consortium of independent phone sex operators is interested in adding select PSOs to their collaborative group and I’ve been contracted to perform the initial screenings. Please read the following and, if interested, contact me via NF. Again, if interested, you must contact me here & use the “send mail” option. No exceptions.

Terms:

+ PSOs will continue to run their own businesses as they have been. Only a minimal recip linking and/or tweeting required.

+ No calls/clients guaranteed; however, absolutely no fees or percentage of calls/sales will be taken.

+ A very limited number of female phone sex operators will be added; likely three to four women.

Requirements:

+ Must be using female PSOs using the NiteFlirt platform and have viable/active listings with favorable ratings & feedback.

+ Ideal candidates would have at least one website which is NF compliant; but we are open to discussion for the right person(s).

+ We are looking for successful, experienced PSOs who, ideally, have been working as an independent PSO for at least a year; full or part time status OK.

+ Specifically looking for those currently working in both the GFE and Femdom niches; but will consider others, especially if they are very specific niches/fetishes.

+ Must possess a positive attitude, employ a serious work ethic, and carry a collaborative spirit.

Back To School Phone Sex Tips

The summertime slowdown is about to end. In part, as the Peck & Call Girls said, because back to school means more free time for dads.

And it’s not just dads either.

In other words, the temperatures are about to lower — but the phone sex business is about to heat up again!

clueless-about-phone-sex-pssDuring last few weeks or days of summer, here’s a checklist of things you may want to address to make the most of the increasing demands in phone sex services — and before things get too busy:

+ Look over your profile and listing pages with a critical eye. Inspect them for typos, misspellings, and the like, as well as review them in a general sense. Do they need refreshing in terms of wording, photos, or other graphics? Have you changed your services in any way which is not reflected in your listings? With the increased traffic, you want to make sure those extra views convert.

+ Review the terms of service at the platform site(s) you are using; make sure you are in compliance.

+ Now is likely one of those times you may be about to change your work hours. Whether or not you’ve posted your schedule (or otherwise mentioned your general availability), this is the time to note and announce any upcoming changes. Do so via your profile and listing pages, your blog/website, social media, and via direct contact with clients (newsletters, mass mailings, messages, and email).

+ Speaking of schedules, don’t forget to include time for yourself. Building time into your schedule for exercise, plenty of sleep, and other self-care time is needed not only for your health and to manage stress but to provide great customer service.

+ Assess the status and quality of your tech gear. This includes standard gear such as phones and headsets; PC, laptop, tablet; as well as related batteries and chargers, etc.. If you produce your own photo content, your cameras too. Now is absolutely the time to do this as Amazon, eBay, and many other retail outlets have great back to school savings on such things!

+ Similarly, asses the status and quality of your webhost, audio software, apps, etc. Also, if you haven’t yet invested in a domain name, do it now so the search engines etc. can catch up.

+ Increase your promotion activities so that you’ll be right in front of all those hungry, searching eyes. This includes, but is not limited to, blog posts, Tweets, etc. (Tip: If you have successful or great posts on Tumblr or Twitter, repost them for the more exposure in front of the increasing audience.)

+ Work ahead by creating blog posts, Tweets, etc.. Save or schedule them for posting so that when you are busy with callers, your blog and social media accounts remain active and fresh. Don’t forget to include labeling your photos and making graphics!

+ Research advertising options and make a list of your best bets so that, when you have the money to reinvest but are short on time, you quickly know where to go.

Also, while the Fall season ushers in a busy business time, it quickly leads to the holiday season which is even busier (at least in terms of personal and family time). As with the above tip regarding working ahead in blogging, you may also wish to safely prepare Pay to View items, Goodies, store products, etc. That way, you’ll have hot and fresh offerings at the ready.

Prepare now by checking to see if you have enough content; if not, take or procure the photos, create the audio and text files, etc. If you don’t have the money to purchase content right now, research and window shop for what you need so that, as with advertising, you are all set when you do have the funds.

If You’ve Been Considering Arousr…

Gracie Passette has an excellent review of the sexting (and phone sex) service Arousr — which includes info on how much it really costs as well as how much chat, cam, and phone hosts can make: The Sex Kitten Arousr Review.

UPDATE: My Arousr interview is here.