What Are You Reading? (Or: Self-Employment Means Self-Education)

Everyone always talks about how mainstream can (& has!) taken it’s business cues from the adult industry in terms of both marketing and tech innovations. But it works the other way too.

I don’t just mean overly general “how to market your business,” “blogging,” “tech,” or “social media” articles either. Yes, those are perfectly fine; much of that general information can apply to what PSOs need to do for their businesses too. (So long as you read or listen to such things aware of how the potential censorship will limit or impact your adult business.) But also look to other specific industries as they relate to your business.

Selling newsletter, content, or website subscriptions? Look at the publishing industry.

Need help converting your listings? Read about landing pages & copywriting.

Want to sell more pay-to-views, audio recordings, clips, etc.? Read articles about retail & online commerce.

Know your target audience? Read articles about selling to those specific demographics.

Remember, phone sex is not only part of the adult industry, but the service industry as well. Discover how the service industry is surviving and even thriving in the Internet age.

What other industries or market do you feel align with your brand? Luxury? Hospitality? Entertainment? Education? Read up on them for tips on connecting with your target market. Expand your reading areas and you’ll expand your knowledge base — and when you test or implement those ideas you can expand your business reach and profits too. You might even discover new possibilities for services to offer or be inspired to create a new niche for yourself!

I spend roughly 10 hours a week reading business materials (or listening to podcasts) across a wide spectrum of industries. Aand that’s not including any reading I do for sex education — or the occasional book for personal enjoyment (I wish I had more time for the latter!) Some of what I consume shows up in my tweets (@PhoneSexSecrets). But don’t just count on me or who I follow on Twitter. (I do have a secret mainstream Twitter as well; you might want to do that too to connect with mainstream folks!) Investigate & read on your own too. Such investments in time will be worth it.

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose asap!

Even if you’ve been here before, you may have missed the new additions to the site:

New, easier to schedule consultations, coaching, & tutoring sessions page!
A concise listing of all my instantly downloadable phone sex whitepaper guides!
A list of my most popular other services for PSOs — including rates and buy now options!

 

It’s Not You; It’s Him

Not long after I started this blog about the phone sex business, the need for personal help became quite apparent. Not only help for individuals running an independent phone sex business via personalized consultations — but assistance for individual callers and clients as well.

While I keep most of the general “how to” articles, advice, and tips for callers at the phone sex Tumblr site, I do offer live, one-on-one help too. This includes making referrals, helping clients find just the right providers for their needs and desires. I most often do so by using a hunger analogy.

Typically, I charge for this via phone calls and messages at NiteFlirt. Not only because my time is valuable, but because many times the conversation and confessed details are about explicit fantasies and I want to be sure I am talking with a legal adult. But every now & then, I feel magnanimous and will help a gent on Twitter. Usually, this is via the promo account. But sometimes, say when I am directing a caller from the help-a-PSO-pro Twitter to the find-a-PSO-pro Twitter, I will enter into a caller referral consultation. This happened just at the end of last week. And the reason I bring it up here, is to help you understand a few things about callers and clients.

Now, I want to make it clear that I am not making fun of this man. As I often say, the poor dears struggle so — especially when they are aroused and the blood flows away from the brain in the big head to swell that little head! This is not intended to mock this individual or others like him, but to serve illustrative purposes about helping client’s find and articulate their deep hungers.

Our conversation was about helping him find a findom to suit his tastes & desires…

Keeping with my hunger analogy, and using pork as a cheeky way to reference findom piggy play, let’s say we’ve now established that this gent would like a ham sandwich. But I know that’s not enough to satisfy his specific hunger…

At this point, believing that I’ve pulled what information I can from him, I provide him with a potential provider match.

But clearly, he’s been holding something back — something so specific, that without knowing it, the hunger just won’t be satisfied. In fact, the meal is ruined.

At first, he makes it sound simple; like he’s just looking for a ham sandwich with cheese. Perhaps some chips… Oh, and something to drink. But it turns out, what he really wants is a pulled-pork sandwich on a King’s Hawaiian bakery roll, with sea salt kettle chips, and a craft beer.

Oh, and he wants homemade coleslaw too — but not on top of the sandwich. He wants it on the side — and it should never ever even touch any of the other food. Only he tells me that after I have brought him his meal, a meal that is now ruined so he won’t eat it.

The trouble is not that what he wants is impossible; it’s that it can’t be served if he doesn’t order it correctly.

If someone with decades of experience can have this much difficulty leading a thirsty horse to water, well, let’s just agree that it is that much more difficult for less experienced folk.

This is not something reserved for the findom fetish either. Often, getting a client or potential client to confess his fantasies can feel like pulling teeth. Most often, this is not because he is trying to be difficult but rather because he either has not properly identified what he wants or is unable to articulate his wants. When this happens, all you can do is try.

Ask questions. As what he likes as well as what he doesn’t like. Offer comparisons, options, present ‘either or’ scenarios… Try to get him to pry into his own head and find out what he and his dick really want.

But sometimes it just won’t work. If you’ve tried your darndest, and he’s still not confessing, it’s him — not you. Know that you are not to blame.

But also know that it will affect your sessions together.

Clearly, if the client cannot provide you the necessary information prior to your fantasy time together, it makes it much more difficult to deliver that fantasy. Recognize that your ability to serve, to provide great service, is in part based upon the information shared by the client.

Know that the customer can only be right when he has clearly communicated what’s important to him. When he doesn’t, things are likely to go poorly. And if you’ve honestly tried like hell to get him to confess, well, babe, the problem’s not you, it’s him.

You can have the best ham and cheese sandwiches in town, offer all the condiments and side dishes, have hundreds of beverages. But you won’t be able to please everyone, especially when what they really want is a pulled-pork sandwich which is not on the menu. And you can’t even satisfy them by directing them to the smokehouse down the road when they don’t tell you what they really want from the start. At least not before you whip up your house specialty, serve it with a smile, and the customer leaves without enjoying it or even paying.

But wait, there’s more!

On top of all that, the gentlemen disappeared. [That’s what those pink colored messages mean; he bailed on his Twitter account.] Multiple times, in fact. In the course of our conversation, he left at least twice over two days. [Who knows how many times since then; I’ve been too busy to continually check.]

Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common situation with adult industry clients.

Even when the client orders properly, even when you offer the best pulled-pork sandwich on a King’s Hawaiian bakery roll, with sea salt kettle chips, fresh homemade coleslaw — served on the side, and a cheeky little craft beer, the client may run away and hide.

Maybe it’s because he’s Jewish & shouldn’t have any pork. Maybe his budget only allows him to order fast food junk off a dollar menu. Maybe he’s an alcoholic who ought not have a beer. Maybe his doctor has him on a salt-free diet. Maybe he was afraid someone he knew would spot him dining at your establishment and tattle on him. Maybe his excitement over the meal-to-be had him peeing his pants. Who knows?!

Whatever his situation, fear and shame can make him jump up and leave. Yes, before the meal arrives. Yes, right in the middle of a meal. Yes, even after he confesses that this was the best meal he’s ever had. Frankly, they can, and will, do this whenever they wish or are motivated to flee.

To be honest, flight is not the only potential response to fear and shame. You might also run into clients and potential clients who show anger (fight response). And there are also those who seem rendered unable to make a decision (freeze response). There’s more information on such potential fear and shame responses here.

What’s important to note here is that there may be little you can do, at least in the moment, to address a client’s flight response. If/when you build a rapport with this client, you may, over time, build trust and alleviate such responses. Note: Only invest time in this push & pull when the client is respecting you enough to pay you for your time.

Again, this is not only for those with a findom kink. Callers, clients, and those who have the potential to become paying consumers of your adult services, of all stripes can do this. (Though I will say submissives, in general, tend to have more flight and freeze responses.)

The point is, again, that you do not control these behaviors. You should understand these behaviors, of course. But ultimately, it’s not you — it’s him.

Update: I No Longer Recommend Any MPS Platform Or Service

I was going to write a very detailed post about what’s all transpired since the Spring 2016 debacle at MPS. But why waste so much energy? You’re busy; I’m busy.

The short story is this: MPS clearly has gone through some changes, legal and personality wise, as documented by an October 4th, 2017, email. Whether these changes were really for the best, or even intended to be for the best, I cannot say. I have repeatedly asked, via phone and email, for information which would clarify such matters. I have received exactly zero replies. I have repeatedly asked, again via phone and email, for satisfactory results in the aftermath of closing even affiliate banking accounts — without paying funds owed. Again, I have received exactly zero replies.

Zero.

Which is exactly the number of fucks I now give for MPS.

The situation is this: MPS is not paying their debts to providers. Nor are they paying their debts to affiliates. Neither are they responding to any communications. (I doubt they are even listening, as often their voicemail boxes are so full one cannot leave a message; I suspect a sweeping “delete all messages” as the response to that.)

On top of that, their sites have code issues. It is likely they are not paying programmers and coders as well. Often their sites are actually down; perhaps a sign they are not paying for hosting either. And when one can access the sites, it’s obvious that there’s been a vast abandonment on the part of providers as only a handful of providers are available at any time.

Should you be among those who remain under the faith fantasy that you will somehow be exempt from all this nasty business, consider how long before all this catches up to you — either via non-payment or even just a complete lack of customer base?

The bottom line is this: I no longer recommend anyone use MPS.

For the record, MPS has and continues to operate under a number of names, including My Phone Site, LLC (which supposedly ran under parent company MFT Services) as well as the name MFT Services, LLC, They run a number of sites, such as PhoneSexBook, PhoneMoreSex, and, presumably, a number of premium white label phone sex sites. Searching those names will give you a lot more information about this company’s history, ripoff reports, consumer complaint filings, etc.

You can Google all you wish. But cut your losses now. Stop using it. And if you never used it, don’t start. 

PS I will be removing all links to MPS & replacing them with this post; just give me a few days to get that all done.

Surprise! Cam Girls (PSOs & Other Sex Workers) Want To Build Wealth & Feel Empowered By Their Work [Infographic]

Stripchat recently polled a cross-section of webcam models for insight into their lives as not only performers but as female entrepreneurs in this emerging industry & created an infographic from the data. While I’m not a cam expert (at least not in cam sites; I know a lot about one-on-one camming on sites such as NiteFlirt), I do believe a lot of the info presented here would be similar to that of phone sex operators and other sex workers — if anyone cared to ask us.

Look! Women get these jobs for the same reason most humans get jobs: to build wealth & feel empowered. (Which is a bit redundant; money is empowerment.)

Of course the infographic came with a press release:

The infographic, “Female Empowerment – Cam Model Insights That’ll Blow Your Mind…” details the motivations for becoming webcam entertainers, and most women polled (87%) said they “feel empowered by their webcam careers” while others appreciate the freedom of working from home and building wealth as their own bosses’.

“As a new company that’s focused on our cam models’ best interests, we decided to take an informal poll of performers in order to find out what motivates them and what we can do to help create a more successful business for them,” said Stripchat Head of Business Development Jim Austin.

The majority of entertainers polled by Stripchat work 30 hours a week or more (44%), are married with no kids (42%), focused on saving for retirement (45%); experienced models earn $300 a day and can make up to $128,000 a year (on average) and the majority of entertainers hold down jobs in the corporate sector (52%), with an eye on entrepreneurship.

“People are really starting to understand the importance of building wealth and preparing for the future in a business with so much flexibility in terms of hours and location,” said Austin. “Stripchat is ideal for models to use for selling not only live cam shows but videos and photo gallery content as well.”

My comments? Well, 150 is a small sample, but at least it gives you an inkling… Your mileage will definitely vary in terms of pay. And I definitely would urge that 34% to tell their partners; such lies of omission rarely turn out well. Plus, how can your partner support you if they don’t know what you are doing? Just leads to more isolation. Something that’s tough enough in sex work.

PS For more on what camgirls do:

What’s It Like To Be A CamGirl?

What Women Want To Know About Being A CamGirl

Shadowbanned On Twitter? What You Need To Know

With the recent changes to Twitter policies, more and more folks are concerned about the so-called shadowbanning. Shadowbanning, also known as stealth banning or ghosting, is when your tweets are hidden from conversations aka hashtag searches. In other words, your Twitter account is visible, all the tweets can be seen – except when a person clicks a hashtag and your tweet (including the hash, of course) is not to be found. Similarly, your tweets will not show up in threads and conversations. All of this naturally neutralizes your ability to be found and therefore participate in conversations.

Other nasty side effects of being shadowbanned include not having notifications of your @ mentions delivered to the account you mention, your own account not showing up in searches for it, and your most recent images not being shown in the most recent grid, etc..

It should be noted that Twitter is not the only social media site or digital community to use shadowbanning; it’s just that Twitter has been the largest social media site remaining open to adult folks, so its shadowbanning impacts us the most.

Shadowbanning has a long history of use. Originally, it was used in online communities to keep spammers at bay — without tipping them off that they were being subtly blocked. It is designed to ban the comments of specific users whilst keeping the user ignorant that they have been banned.

Since shadowbanning is designed to keep the banned in the shadows of knowledge, not even knowing they have been so banned, you might have to use a tool to discover it for yourself. Here’s a free way to do that.

How does shadowbanning happen?

It appears one of the primary ways your tweets can be shadowbanned are the dreaded sending of “reports” of tweets. While based on user reports, Twitter then uses artificial intelligence (AI) to attempt to discern things, such as mature or controversial topics, which get other users to report, mute, or block an account.

It’s important to note that there’s no human judgment made here. Hence the additional concerns with new Twitter policies regarding sex. As noted at YNOT:

The sections dealing with non-consensual nudity and unwanted sexual advances may be the most relevant to the adult entertainment industry. As Starr himself admitted in the email, entire porn genres are dedicated to non-consent and stalker fantasies. Nevertheless, Twitter has expanded its definition of non-consensual nudity “to more broadly include content like upskirt imagery, ‘creep shots,’ and hidden camera content,” Starr wrote.

“We will immediately and permanently suspend any account we identify as the original poster/source of non-consensual nudity and/or if a user makes it clear they are intentionally posting said content to harass their target,” Starr stated in the email. “We will do a full account review whenever we receive a Tweet-level report about non-consensual nudity. If the account appears to be dedicated to posting non-consensual nudity then we will suspend the entire account immediately.”

Starr also noted it’s nearly impossible for Twitter to distinguish between real and faux non-consensual nudity, so “[w]e would rather error [sic] on the side of protecting victims and removing this type of content when we become aware of it.”

In a departure from previous policy, Twitter’s safety team will not require a report from an alleged victim before suspending an account for non-consensual content. Adult industry companies that produce non-consent fantasy material need to be aware the proposed new policy could be weaponized by anti-porn activists, competitors, dissatisfied customers and people who simply enjoy creating drama.

These new policies are ambiguous and subjective enough — without trading human involvement for AI. Yet, even if your account is not shut down for dealing with such (or similar) fantasy material, reports (complaints) — especially multiple reports — could lead to your account being shadowbanned. And since the act of shadowbanning users is to keep them in the dark about it, Twitter offers no official help.

Shadow banning, it should be noted, happens to mainstream folks too. And it’s here that we may find the solution to shadowbanning on Twitter. Tania (of When Tania Talks) reports on a tip from Milly (of Mini Adventures) that seems to work:

So what was this genius idea? Well, apparently the world revolves around money. Milly found that by contacting the Twitter Ads team and suggesting that she wanted to place an ad, but her hashtags weren’t working resulted in her Twitter shadowban being lifted. This was done within two hours of contacting the Twitter Ads team.

Apparently, just asking about the situation — not actually paying for ads — works. (Though, if you are shadowbanned, even paying for ads might be a worthy solution!) Though it should be noted that many adult accounts won’t be able to buy Twitter ads, if you’re stuck in shadowbanned land on Twitter it may be worth giving this a try. (At least you could open a dialogue.)

You can check here & here for more tips on dealing with Twitter shadowbans on my Twitter.

All of this shadowbanning — and general signs of the pornocalypse — is just additional proof to me that one needs a website of their very own. Yes, participate on other sites, playing by their rules. But never be entirely dependant on the practices, policies, and whims of another site.

Are You Using The NiteFlirt Affiliate Program Correctly?

I don’t like singling anyone out, but I continue to run into this problem with new clients, followers on Twitter, and the like. So, rather how this whole phone sex help blog started, I am making this post so that I can quickly refer folks here for help…

I see many of you are using the NiteFlirt (NF) affiliate program — which is great! (Why miss the chance for extra money?!) However, more and more I am finding that the link folks are using in Twitter profiles and other promotional efforts are incorrect. Folks are using an affiliate link to NF in general (example) — not an affiliate link to their own profile (example) or any specific listing (example).

This means that when a person (i.e. potential caller) clicks the link, they are not sent to “you”. Yes, if the potential caller joins (and otherwise qualifies), you may still earn affiliate profits — but you may have lost the potential caller as a new client in the process.

The main purpose of marketing yourself using the NF affiliate program is to capitalize on the opportunity to earn extra money off your new caller who is also new to the phone sex platform. Best case scenario: you capture a new client as well as an affiliate payment (and learn a little something from the affiliate program data as well).

Middle of the road option is that the guy who clicks the link is already a member and he calls you; you earn money off a new client, but do not make any affiliate money.

The last ditch effort affiliate back-up plan is that the guy who clicks the link joins, spends enough to qualify as a payout for you — but doesn’t call you or otherwise become your client. Sure, you’ll only get the one time affiliate earning (which is a nice $50); but not a new client with a lifetime of earnings.

Since you are running a phone sex business, with this affiliate program (and potentially others) as additional revenue streams, I recommend the focus be on marketing yourself.

Hence, I recommend changing that NF affiliate program link on your website, in your Twitter profile, etc. so that folks can find you.

From speaking with a number of you, it’s clear that many understand the premise, but just misunderstand how to properly make or use the correct affiliate link to promote yourself.

This image should help:

Along with promotion your NF profile and/or listings, you can also promote your pay to view games, Goodies, etc.. Just login to the NF affiliate program and scroll further down the page to see the options; click on the little triangle/arrows to expand the section & see individual choices with link codes.

Help With Games, Assignments & Tasks For Phone Sex Operators

As I mentioned, I’m working on a number of whitepapers to help with your indie PSO business. The latest release is about creating games, assignments, and tasks for phone sex callers and clients.

I do not offer scripts, neither for phone sex calls nor items to sell — nor any prepackaged “canned” services of any kind. That’s not what your clients want, so such things are not of value to you. However, this list of games & assignment/task suggestions is designed to give you various forms of online sexual play which you can use and profit from by selling in Pay To Views (PTVs), Goodies, and via stores on most other phone sex platforms.

This whitepaper includes an honest description of what separates games and tasks from traditional pic, video, and audio sales; as well as covers the benefits of such games and how to maximize them for profits (immediate and long-term, via bonding with clients). And, of course, there are numerous suggestions for types of games to play, assignments and tasks to offer.

Buy from Phone Sex Secrets through Niteflirt.com

The paper is over 4,000 words, includes a few resource links, and is in an easy to read PDF format.

This should be all the information and inspiration you need to create your own profitable phone sex operator games for PTVs, Goodies, and even calls. However, if you feel you need more assistance, feel free to contact me regarding your own personal consultation session.

More phone sex biz whitepapers can be found here.

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose asap!

Yes, I am on Twitter! @PhoneSexSecrets

In Case You Missed It… Phone Sex Secrets News

Been especially busy with PSO consultation work, interviews, working on phone sex whitepapers, and a revamp of both that NF page as well as some things here at the site… So much to do! But wanted to hit a few key points of Phone Sex Secrets news…

I will be updating the consultation page soon, not only to better reflect all the services I offer to PSOs, but, in case you missed the tweeted announcement, I will be increasing my consultation rates by the end of May. This due to reasons I stated in my recent interview at Webcam Startup:

This is an interesting time for me. As the demand for my PSO consulting services grows, I am definitely feeling the push and pull effect…

The simple math here is that there only one of me. So for every consulting session I have, every bit of work I do wearing that hat, I am unable to entertain my phone sex callers. Since I certainly make more with my actual phone sex services, I am now in the place where I am being forced to decide just what needs to give…

The truth is, as a consultant, I could be charging, easily, up to 10 times what I currently charge. I have resisted this so that I could be a more affordable resource. But, as I have been in this position for nearly a year now, soon I am going to have to take my own advice about stress and self-care and make a decision.

Taking one’s own advice can be difficult. *sigh* As for how much the rate will increase, well, I’m not sure… It won’t be 10 times the current rate; but I’ve given myself a deadline & will make the tough call soon.

(To book more than a one hour session, simply use the drop-down box to see multiple hour offerings.)

Speaking of interviews…

I was featured in a three-part series at YNOT Cams. Since this was three articles, it’s much more in-depth than some of the other articles about phone sex: part one, part two, & part three. Also quite informative if you are a camgirl or another type of sex worker and are thinking of adding phone sex to your service offerings — or are interested in making a complete switch. (If I do say so myself!)

And, there’s another project in the works with a rather major media company — I’m dying to talk about it, but *knocks wood* the time is not right yet. But soon, I hope!

I will likely announce each of the whitepapers as I publish them, but wanted to let you know what’s in the works… I am nearly finished with the one on creating games, assignments, and tasks for phone sex callers and clients; so that should arrive soon. Also, the long-anticipated paper on using social media and blogging to market your phone sex business. So much going on, so stay tuned!

Is this your first time here? You may wish to read this post and my Statement Of Purpose asap!

Yes, I am on Twitter! @PhoneSexSecrets

Important! More NiteFlirt Policy Changes

I tweeted about this earlier today; but if you PSOs (“Flirts”) logged in at NF today, you likely saw this notice about changes in terms of service (TOS) policies at the phone sex platform site:

Please note that NiteFlirt does not permit the following content:
Explicit or suggested willingness to violate NiteFlirt’s policies such as “no taboos” and “no limits”
Non-consensual content
Blood play
Needle play
Knife play
Abduction fantasies
Forced intoxication

Please remove any content relating to these topics before next Monday. On Tuesday, February 28, we will be removing all listings, profiles, and Goody Bags containing this content.
For more about NiteFlirt’s policies, see Play Fair Basics. Please join us in the forums for more information if you have comments and questions.

Annoyingly, the link to the forum link doesn’t really work; like most direct links to any forum post, you get bounced to the main forum page & have to search or scroll for it. Thankfully, it is a “starred” or “pinned” thread, entitled “Policy Changes – Please read!”.

The main post is as follows:

As of today, NiteFlirt will no longer permit the following:

  • Explicit or suggested willingness to violate NiteFlirt’s policies such as “no taboos,” “no restrictions,” and “no limits”
  • Non-consensual content
  • Blood play
  • Needle play
  • Knife play
  • Abduction fantasies
  • Forced intoxication

If you have any content relating to these topics we ask that you please remove it before Tuesday, Feb. 28. On Tuesday, we will unaccept all listings, profiles, and Goody Bags containing this content.

You’ll note we are prohibiting the popular terminology of “no taboos.” As many of you have pointed out, “no taboos” suggests that a Flirt is willing to violate our policies and therefore engage in content we do not permit (even if that is often not the intent). By prohibiting this content, and other content that suggests you are willing to circumvent our policies, we make great strides in ensuring NiteFlirt remains a safe place for you to run your business and we minimize the requests for prohibited content that you receive from customers.

In that vein, we are also changing the “Anything Goes” category name to “Extra Kinky.” You will see this change in the coming days.

This begs a very obvious question, “Why?” As you may already be aware, FetLife was hit with a huge blow a few weeks ago and are currently unable to process credit cards (you can read more about that here). In order to protect NiteFlirt, our Flirts, and our community as a whole, we have reevaluated our policies and decided to make some changes.

We are happy to engage in a discussion regarding this change, however we ask that you leave politics out of the discussion and remain respectful towards us and your fellow Flirts. While it’s hard to ignore the role that politics plays, let’s make our moms happy and not discuss politics at the dinner table. In addition, we will not comment on the situation at Fetlife or the decisions they have made.

Because tweets, replies, and such can be difficult to follow, I will repeat some tweets with key points in this post — with links to tweets in case you wish to share/participate on Twitter. While I am quickly posting this news regarding NF, I am not part of the company itself; these opinions are my own. And I do recommend logging in and reading the entire forum thread, as Erin is replying to specific questions (along with referring folks to have their profiles, listings, goody items, etc. reviewed by Play Fair).

These changes, as noted, are based largely on what happened at FetLife regarding their credit card processing. As we know, the limits credit card processing companies, merchant accounts, and other financial institutions place on sex workers and the adult industry at large are bullshit creations of censorship and proof of the Pornocalypse. I obviously do not like it; but this is a fact of life & livelihood we have to deal with.

[Unlike NF, I don’t mind political talk; my parents encouraged political talk at the table. However, I just don’t have the time to rant today (I am barely fitting this post in as it is!) So feel free to comment here, on Twitter, etc. regarding the politics an culture of discrimination.]

The main point here is to address issues of consent. I know it’s particularly silly when this is fantasy talk between consenting partners, a caller and a phone sex operator. But people (in this case, financial institutions) still don’t get how this works. So they try to protect and manage things for us.

[And here I will take a moment to rant. Note that already in the terms of service at NF, one cannot discuss sexual bondage without making it clear that at least one of the submissive’s limbs is not bound. See, there’s to be “no penetration with all four limbs bound.” Which is not only an affront to those of us with rape fantasies, but an insult to those of us who are rape survivors by acting as if one limb was free — or we were not bound at all — we were not really raped!]

But back to the issue at hand here.

NF now instructs all Flirts to remove any references to any abduction or rape fantasies. From the further discussion on the forum, it seems an any forced or coerced scenes, especially those involving penetration are now forbidden. This includes oral penetration, as in “forced intoxication.” However, currently, “forced bi” or “forced feminization” are allowed (apparently as it is seen as “dressing” and role play, not penetration).

Also included in this TOS revision, are matters of skin penetration — including fantasies involving castration, knife & needle play, and any blood play. However, none of this is new as all of it, including menstrual play, has always been off limits.

What is new, is that castration appears prohibited; even if the chemical kind. (Again, this is all fantasy play — no one, no matter how much he begs, actually is castrated. But, it’s thought-police time.)

In order to address the perception that the phrases “no taboos,” “no limits,” “anything goes,” and the like are communicating that PSOs are tossing aside TOS, NF is banning such phases and, presumably, their derivatives. Also, NF is changing the “Anything Goes” category name to “Extra Kinky.” It must be pointed out that “Anything Goes” is currently both a NF category and an NF subcategory; yet it is unclear at this time if this change will affect both the category and the subcategory. [Here, I could get lost in the whole general oddness of NF’s categories… But I won’t.] What matters to Flirts & callers alike is the fact that any properly edited listings in “Anything Goes” will supposedly be automatically changed to the new “Extra Kinky” title — and links to those listings will not be lost. (One assumes hopes this will be done in both the category and the subcategory and via proper redirection. Also, that it will also work seamlessly with the affiliate program.)

What happens if your profile, listing, Goodie, etc. is not properly edited to address these announced changes? They will be marked “unaccepted,” and, like the last time we went through this, using the “red thumbs down icon.” If this is truly how NF proceeds, your listings, at least, can still be found if clients have bookmarked them or have come to them via a direct link on a website, tweet, etc. (Which is, again, why I am always pushing you to have your own website; for clients to bookmark them.) If callers know and dial your direct extension number, lines should also work.

As I said on Twitter, it should be noted that callers will not see any such notice when they login. Nor has the official NF Twitter posted a damn thing about this. Which means, once again, NF is relying on PSOs to communicate the issue & placate customers. This is unfortunate. But savvy Flirts will be on this, ready to address client concerns; even if NF isn’t.

Again, I strongly urge any PSOs using NF to read in the forum, then appraise their profiles, listings, goodies, etc. and edit as necessary. For those who have NF compliant blogs & websites, you’ll likely need to scour and edit them as well. And to do so asap! The cut off date is Tuesday, February 28, 2017; which means Play Fair is going to be very busy, so get in line with any questions right now.

What Influences Phone Sex Caller Decisions?

As The Wall Street Journal reports, “Media consumption habits continue to shift rapidly, with mobile devices, social media, streaming services, and binge-watching redefining the landscape.”

That’s not likely earth-shattering news to you; but what is interesting about Deloitte’s Digital Democracy Survey are the insights you can put to use in terms of marketing your phone sex business. Particularly the fact that for millennials (ages 19-32) recommendations from their social media circle and online reviews now carry more weight than TV advertising.

Most of us cannot afford TV ads anyway. But look at what holds spots #3 & #4 — those are things you can use and leverage! These findings were also seen in the phone sex caller survey results.

According to my phone sex caller survey, phone sex callers most definitely do not make phone sex recommendations to their family & friends. And adult services are definitely limited in terms of what social media can be used. However, you can make the most of client feedback (and phone sex review sites).

While some platform sites, like NF, do not allow you to post or share member names, you can still refer callers & potential callers to your feedback pages via links. If you are lucky enough to have actual clients using social media, they can share their reviews of you — and you can then share them yourself. And you can use good old fashioned testimonials on your phone sex website too.