PSO Help: Dealing With Negative Feedback, Ratings &/or Reviews

After a few months of running the phone sex review site, some things have become quite clear: some phone sex operators don’t know how to properly handle less than glowing reviews.

Just as you can make the most of your positive reviews, you can make a real mess out of less than favorable reviews. In fact, you can make things even worse.

I’m sure you heard about the bakery who was featured on a TV show, how they received a bad review and had a complete meltdown and responded to the review by leaving incredibly insane comments. Thanks to word of mouth, that whole bad scene lives on in infamy; thanks to the Internet, it is perfectly preserved for anyone who Googles “company on cooking show freaks out” (which is exactly how I found that link to the story). Well, this can happen in any industry — including services such as phone sex.

More’s the pity, the whole PR (public relations) nightmare could have been avoided.

As a favor to these PSOs, I have not posted their incredibly ignorant replies. Yes, not posting their replies was doing them a favor. Those comments just make those phone sex operators look bad. And, I’m not about shaming them while ruining their businesses.

thumbs_down-bad feedbackI even took the time to tell most of them this information, but they didn’t seem to understand. Or care to learn. They just continued to rant in comments and emails to me. (And don’t think you can guess who wrote these comments either; shockingly, several of these comments came from PSOs who simply didn’t like one line or comment in a review that was rated 3 or higher! Yes, people tend to remember the negatives more than the positives, especially when it is about ourselves, but why, why, why would you go out of your way to attack something positive?!) However, I am hoping that you care to learn, so I am sharing some of these poor responses with you as lessons in what not to do should you receive negative feedback or reviews about your phone sex services.

Do not make fun of callers for “jerking off.” That’s rather the point of most phone sex isn’t it? Mocking masturbation just ensures you won’t get called.

Do not make fun of a caller’s phone sex fantasies. Even if a potential caller doesn’t share the reviewer’s fantasy, anyone considering using the services of a phone sex operator may already be worried that their fantasy is “fucked up” — if nothing else, you’ve just made sure they won’t call you. Not even the most masochistic submissives are interested in this sort of treatment. When they are reading reviews and feedback, looking at ratings, they are not in subspace or in a fantasy frame of mind; they are trying to evaluate and decide if they should invest their money and time with you.

Do not call people names or categorize them in order to insult them. For example, when you respond with “you sound like a old black man” you’ve not only just ensured old men, black men, and old black men won’t call you, but you’ve turned-off everyone else who is reading and offended by ageism, racism, etc. From How to Respond to a Negative Online Review:

It doesn’t pay to show a public display of anger when you receive negative press online, because, as [Jason] McDonald points out, your comments are on display for the world to see.

“Remember that you aren’t only talking to the person who gave you the bad review, you are talking to the dozens of other people who are reading your response,” he says. “You always want to take the high ground.”

Don’t post in haste or in a heated head-space. Statements like, “YOU DONT NO WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT”, whether auto-correct on your device is to blame or not, this reflects poorly on you. And all caps is just rude yelling. Too often people don’t stop and think — and instead create and escalate things into flaming wars. McDonald’s advice:

Can’t calm down? Take some time. You don’t need to respond right away. Talk to a friend about how you are feeling, go for a walk or engage in another work task to take your mind off of the review. Go back and respond when you feel calm and collected.

(See also How to Stop Overreacting.)

Remember, Sticks & stones may break your bones; and name-calling really hurts you.

Don’t threaten to “leave him a bad review.” First of all, you can’t. Poor reactions like these are precisely why sites like NiteFlirt and eBay have removed the option for PSOs and sellers, (respectively) to leave their own feedback or to reply to the feedback of others. And another reason why I won’t publish such comments at the review site. Secondly, are threats, carried out or not, the charming, welcoming things that invite others to give you a chance?

Do not make statements like “I’m not going to apologize because you didn’t enjoy our call.” Maybe you don’t need to apologize; I think maybe you do. Yes, it takes “two to tango” in phone sex. But you are one of those people. You bear responsibility — more than half, actually; for as the intimate service professional, you should know when things aren’t going well, when you are not well-suited to make this caller happy, and you should politely put an end to the call (perhaps, even, refer the caller to someone else). Take a cue from this article in Forbes, Why Negative Reviews Can Be Good For Business:

Respond to reviews in a proactive and polite manner. Always keep a polite and respectful tone when responding to reviews. Engage with customers diplomatically and try to resolve issues whenever you can. Respond publicly when possible to show everyone that you strive to keep your customers satisfied. Future reviewers may be more likely to behave politely when they’re assured that you read and respond to reviews.

Inc. also offers tips on this, saying you may not need to apologize, but that you should acknowledge the negative review:

[Acknowledge] (“I understand that your experience with us wasn’t what you wanted it to be”). Then take it offline to provide a resolution. (“Here’s how you can reach me directly. I’d like to understand your perspective more and work to resolve this to your satisfaction”). Thank people who leave a positive review and say you appreciate their time and business.

Dynamic Business notes that  research indicates that 20% of consumers that write negative reviews will become a brand loyal customer and another 30% will react by writing a positive review — if they receive a positive response from the business. They offer the following tips:

  1. Ensure your response is customer focused and avoid getting defensive, it comes across as insincere and uncaring

  2. Address each problem identified and try to provide a solution

  3. Offer to them a chance to get in touch with you privately either by email or phone

  4. Always be courteous and polite to the customer, apologise if necessary

  5. Give them a reason to try your product or service again eg. a deal or free trial

Don’t whine about how a review or feedback negatively affects your business, that you need the money, etc. Reviews are to help people interested in paying for a product or service. They are designed to save consumers time and money; they are not designed to make you money. If you were actually concerned about your business and income, you’d be constructively reading customer and client feedback for concerns to address, ways to improve. From Inc. again:

When many consumers think something is wrong with your business, there is. Period. And if you’re not responding, respectfully and effectively, online and offline, then these “Negative Nellies” will turn into your company’s death knell faster than you can say “one star.”

Do not cut & paste your feedback from a phone sex site, especially from a site like NiteFlirt which clearly states in their rules that such an action is in clear violation of TOS. By all means, feel free to mention that you have positive feedback, high ratings, fans or whatever. (Oh, and when you mention such things and say that it “speaks for itself,” stop there. That’s what that phrase “speaks for itself” means.)

Do not complain about a review being “posted without your permission”; no one needs permission to post a review or related materials. Besides, reviews matter, even bad ones.

In short, do not be attacking and rude. A potential caller reading such a comment will be far more put-off by what you are saying than whatever a review or rating says. Every comment and response you make helps a potential caller make a decision whether or not to call you.

The Problem With NiteFlirt Social Shouts

NiteFlirt has just launched Social Shouts, a way to “broadcast important NiteFlirt-related updates to your social media followers and customers.”

Simply link your social media profiles with your NiteFlirt account and select the events that will trigger posts, such as availability changes and new content additions! And you can customize your posts to make them uniquely you and more appealing to your customers.

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Once you set the feature up, it still isn’t a whole lot easier than just making the posts or tweets yourself — unless, of course, you stick with the pre-filled varieties NF offers, which cannot be edited. Out of ease or pure laziness, I guess a lot of Flirts are doing this anyway. Too many, because look at my recent dashboard action at Tumblr and Twitter, respectively. (Note: I am not trying to embarrass anyone, so I have removed any identifying information.)

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Enter the world of boring and annoying spam.

How in the world are you supposed to stand out — especially in an industry that’s supposed to be as personalized as phone sex — when you are literally saying the same thing as everyone else?!

Worse than that, using this automated interface misses out on some key points involved in using social media. I’m not going to give you an entire lesson on social media (not for free anyway; I may just write a white paper on it at some point), but I will tell you that automated, repetitive posts are the opposite of social.

And one more thing while I am feeling generous… In terms of effectiveness for your phone sex business, Social Shouts is missing a key feature: The use of hashtags.

While NF has built-in a hashtag to suit themselves, i.e. #NiteFlirt, this isn’t very helpful for you.

One, such a corporate hashtag is neither conversational nor impactful. It’s not like #NiteFlirt ever trends. While not very targeted, the generic #PhoneSex would be more helpful than this corporate hashtag. At the most basic level, if people already know about NF, they will be going to the site itself not Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook. Unless, of course, they are talking about the site when it is down… But how does that help you as a PSO?

Two, while this NF hashtag may offer some benefits for NF, it does absolutely nothing to build your brand.

Think about your goals before you use this new feature.

At least this new feature is aptly named. “Social Shouts” is just that, shouting in places were people are. Try that at Wal-Mart or a rock concert and see what it gets you.

“Are there certain fetishes that pay better?”

The best thing in this interview with a phone sex operator is this quote:

Rule of thumb: fetishes pay better than vanilla. Vanilla (and female submission) don’t take a lot of brain power, presence or originality to pull off, but fetish and domination are best executed by someone who puts the effort into reading her customer and keeping it creative. Effort = money.

And, because it’s good to hear the advice and thoughts of others, you might want to check out 10 Things To Consider Before Taking A Job As A Phone Sex Operator — especially since this is about being a PSO working at/for a company, rather than being an independent PSO.

Phone Sex Operator Promo Opportunity

I was just contacted about a site that wants to feature some flash fiction erotica at their website. This is a great free opportunity for phone sex operators to get some exposure and links to their profiles, listings and websites/blogs. Contact me for details.

Getting Phone Sex Reviews & Making The Most Of Them

As promised, I’m back with some more details regarding the phone sex review website.

This is a free service. Yes, it is free to be reviewed. However, because Tom is just one man (who already has a long list of favorite PSOs), it is advised, though not required, that you offer him a few free minutes, a discounted rate, or other incentive for him to add you to his list of girls to call. This incentive neither guarantees a review nor guarantees a good review. All decisions regarding whether to review or not review are up to Tom Cat himself. And all reviews are, like a review of any product or service, based on Tom Cat’s honest evaluation of the phone sex services. Any incentive is just a courtesy.

Interested phone sex operators are encouraged to consider how well their services match Tom Cat’s desires, fantasies, and needs before submitting a request for a review. (Should your phone sex services not be a good match for Tom Cat, you may wish to consider sending one of your happy phone sex clients over to submit a review, and/or buy advertising at the site.)

Ideally, phone sex operators (especially those who receive a favorable review), will use the review to promote themselves in accordance with proper copyright use. In this case, that would be to quote from, or make mention of, the review by linking to the review itself. Additionally, PSOs who have been reviewed may download and display the appropriate rating badge, again linking to their review so that potential customers can read how they earned that rating. (Hotlinking is not allowed!)

At this time, the review site is NiteFlirt compliant as all the PSOs reviewed are from Tom Cat’s primary phone sex playground, NiteFlirt. However, this is subject to change as the review site grows and therefore phone sex operators worried about compliance with NF’s policies should consult Playfair to be certain such promotion with links to the site are acceptable. Ditto any PSOs working with other platform sites and phone sex companies. (It should be seen as any phone sex topsite that promotes phone sex operators from various sites and companies; but it is up to, you, the individual PSO, to verify that for yourself.)

Remember, there are other ways to promote yourself besides your profile pages and blog. You can use Twitter, Tumblr, and other forms of social media. And don’t forget to contact your callers directly to share the good news. (Sending the link in a message to your callers is a reminder to call, and they may share the review themselves via their own sites and social accounts!)

Remember, the purpose of Tom Cat’s Phone Sex Reviews is to help improve the phone sex industry: One, it helps phone sex callers find quality phone sex services, and, two, it provides free promotion for quality PSOs. Make the most of it!

News & Links Phone Sex Operators Can Use

Last week at Sex Kitten, Gracie interviewed Tom Cat about the new phone sex review website. It’s a great look not only at the man behind the site, but about phone sex mega users.

While you’re there, you may want to check out another one of Gracie’s articles, Of Feminism & Inequality In Porn & Sex Work. Yes, phone sex operators are sex workers. Beyond that, there may be some clear answers for those who wonder why there are so few opportunities for male PSOs to work with female callers.

Buy A Phone Sex Ad At Tumblr

As some of you know, I have a Tumblr site that promotes phone sex and phone sex operators. As you can from this screenshot, this site currently ranks #1 (or thereabouts) for Google searches for phone sex Tumblr.

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For PSOs who want a little extra bump in attention, I’m offering the chance to promote yourself via a post at the site. These posts will also be featured on the sidebar, for a little added attention. Each post will feature a photo or image of your choosing, up to 200 word of text (that you provide), and it will, of course, link to your blog, website, phone sex operator profile, and/or phone sex listing. (Up to two links per post.) You can use the PayPal link below. Once I receive the payment, I will contact you to collect all your “pertinents and such.”


Number of Posts Per Month



Spots are available on a first come, first served basis — however, I do reserve the right to mix posts up a bit to vary things. (That is in your best interest!)

This is a limited time offer, at a low introductory rate; rates are subject to change. Lock in the prices now.

Update On NiteFlirt Goodie Bags

Goodie Bags have officially gone into Beta for all Flirts on the phone sex platform. I’m not going to provide a detailed tutorial (NF has provided a decent one of their own), but I will highlight some key things to note.

* Goodie Bags are like payment buttons (aka PTV or PPV messages), except that they are bundles of digital offerings (MP3s, photos, etc.), and they are offered in a more interesting visual format. Once files are uploaded to NF, Flirts can mix and match them to make various bundles or bags.

* While these are bundles of files, the files should not be in zip format because part of the gift of goodies is the convenience for customers to save the files in the “player” (rather than having to download them onto their own computers) and watch them while at NF.

* Goodie Bag files require tags, so that potential buyers can more readily find them while searching.

* All nude or sexually explicit images now must meet 2257 regulations. This is important. NF’s 2257 Compliance Wizard means everyone must acknowledging the 2257 requirement by making use of one of three categories:

1. Your content is not sexually explicit.

2. Your content is sexually explicit and you already have a public address where 2257 records for your content can be inspected.

3. Your content is sexually explicit and you do not have a public address where 2257 records for your content can be inspected.

If your content it not sexually explicit, you toggle that option and move along. If, however, your content is sexually explicit, you will need to provide the appropriate 2257 documentation in one of two ways. With option number two on the list above, you must including the address where the records are kept — and this address will be made public. Or you can use option three on the Compliance Wizard, and use NF’s free, integrated third-party record-keeping service, which requires you to digitally provide the correct documentation; then the NF address will be on display.

* Customers (callers) will not find a “Find Goodies” search until there are a number of items uploaded and properly tagged. NF expects this to take a few weeks. Meanwhile, callers can look for the “Goodies” tab on individual Flirt profiles and listings.

Today’s Phone Sex Tip: Places For Phone Sex Operators To Advertise

There’s no such thing as a free phone sex call, right professional phone sex operator? So what makes you think advertising and promoting your phone sex business will be free?

The Marketing Whore has an excellent post about advertising options for adult websites, including phone sex operator websites, listings, and profiles here.

PS I already tweeted a link to this post, but apparently many of you missed it or are not following me at Twitter — so I’m posting both links here now. *wink*

Phone Sex Operator “Little Black Book” Tool Survey

Phone sex operator Sarah Collins is developing a website application tool for the PSO industry called Black Book Vault (BBV). Like me, Sarah is a data hound, always using data to improve her business. But after finding other customer relationship management (CRM) tools lacking in terms of her phone sex business, she decided to create her own CRM software specifically to help POSs with their work. BBV will allow operators to enter notes on clients, gather data on transactions, and run various reports to discover trends (such as busiest times of the day and most popular fetishes) and evaluate advertising and promotions in terms of ROI — all so that you can find where you are making the most money and maximize it.

(Not to mention, this is better organization than paper notes & various documents — and more reliable than notes in platforms which can disappear without notice!)

It’s goal is to create a solution that empowers its users to make better business decisions through data management. The core functions of BBV will enable the PSO to:

• Quickly Capture Client & Transaction Info

• Run Reports, Analyze Metrics & Identify Trends

• Keep Everything Backed Up, Safe & Secure

After speaking with Sarah as length, I think it’s a fabulous idea and I will be participating in the site’s blog, once BBV officially launches.

But before BBV can launch and become the ultimate PSO CRM business tool, Sarah and her tech partners want more information. To that end, there’s a survey you can take. I really hope all of you will participate and give Sarah and her crew information about what you want and need.

As a thank you, BBV will give you a special link that you can use to refer other phone sex operators; for every 3 eligible referrals, you’ll then get a $10 Amazon giftcard code. Do not game this reward system. One, it’s not classy. Two, fake info can, and will, be traced via ISPs — but that just makes extra work and will delay the creation and release of Black Book Vault. Three, any fake or duplicated info will skew the survey data and impact the results, resulting in less accurate information for creation of this tool. And four, scamming for extra rewards will cost BBV money — which could very likely result in a higher cost of the tool. Bottom line: Accurate information about what PSOs want is necessary, so don’t be a jerk.

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