The Cardinal Sex Work Rule PSOs Must Know

Those of you who know me — or have at least worked with me — know that I’m always preaching about The Cardinal Rule in sex work: Never Break The Veil Of Fantasy.

Some might argue that it’s not as important as the safety rules, but, frankly, breaking the veil is outing yourself, making you vulnerable to threats. It’s a safety breach.


And breaking the veil will kill your career.

For more on this, see my (first in a series, I believe) guest post at Geisha Diaries: Sex Work: Never Break the Veil of Fantasy.

If your not familiar with Geisha Diaries, it’s the home base for those working in the sex industry, as well as the clients it serves. I’m really proud to be there. And I hope to be contributing more there over time.

UPDATE: 11/20/2015

As Geisha Diaries is revamping their site again (a chronic issue), I am going to post my article below. Note, this is what I sent, not the edited version posted.

Never Break The Veil Of Fantasy

After nearly two decades in sex work, first as an escort and then continuing on as a phone sex operator (PSO), I’ve learned a lot of things. Outside of safety rules, of course, the most important fundamental rule for all sex work is this: Never Break The Veil Of Fantasy.

Your main asset in any form of sex work is your ability to create and deliver the fantasy. Fantasies are the magic potions, the spells — the real charms you wield. They are more powerful than your breasts and other body parts; more powerful than your intellect, your imagination, your skills as a brilliant conversationalist, your knowledge of the Kama Sutra . More powerful than the sum of all those parts.

The fantasy may begin with something physical; your impressive bustline, for example. The fantasy may begin with something real; such as your dominant personality.  But the whole fantasy isn’t complete until you develop a person, a character or persona, which embodies all the things such fantasies are about to deliver it.

These fantasies live, like genies in bottles, in the private spaces you and your clients inhabit together, be it hotel rooms, the airwaves of phone calls, or digital places you communicate. Together in those spaces you initiate those intimate fantasies with your persona — not only at the client’s request, but at his belief. These fantasies are delivered by your character and brought to life not only by you but via the power of the erotic wishes of the client who opts to believe in your character.

Like any film, literary work, or other form of entertainment, sex work relies on the willing suspension of disbelief. Whether or not you feel part of the responsibility to make this work lies in the person being entertained (i.e. the client) or not, you must agree that the storyteller, the fantasy creator, must do all she can to assist in the process; slipping out of character, even for a moment, creates continuity errors, plot holes, lapses in belief — and *poof* the spell is broken.

This “Never Break The Veil Of Fantasy” rule is equally applicable to all areas of adult entertainment — but no where have I found it more broken than in the area of phone sex.

I know many PSOs, some of whom claim to be quite successful, who readily acknowledge on their sites, in forums, and to callers, that they have multiple phone sex characters or accounts. I suppose this is their way of professing their skills… But as this business is cemented in fantasy, I would never risk ruining the illusion of a “tiny teen” by saying you are also a “horny housewife MILF” and a “BBW queen.” It ruins all the fantasies (not to mention marketing and SEO).

And it leaves me wondering how much more successful those girls would be if they didn’t out themselves, didn’t break the veil of fantasy.

The crafting of such a professional sex work persona takes a lot of work; destroying it is not only a shame in terms of wasted effort, but it kills your business.

Break character, and, one by one, clients will drop you — yes, even the very clients who begged you to give them a glimpse beyond the veil, who begged and demanded that you tell them more about the real you, will leave you. They have to because they can no longer believe in the fantasy.

The truth is, once you break that fantasy you can never put that genie back in the bottle — because you’ve shattered the bottle, ruined the illusion, put an end to the suspension of disbelief.

You can go ahead and try again; cultivate another phone sex personality, escort identity, or sex worker persona. (And I mean really begin anew because transferring feedback, ratings, etc. of an old personality; using the same phone number or contact method; using the same photographs; etc. is a trail for your former disillusioned clients as well as potential new clients to follow, which prevents a new veil from being created.)  But this is all much harder to overcome.

Expensive too. For in sex work, just as any other business, it is cheaper to retain a customer than to cultivate a new one.  And finding new clients will be difficult because your reputation will be ruined.

So, no matter how much he begs and whines; no matter how much he demands, cajoles, or professes to know otherwise about you; stay in character. Never, Ever, Break The Veil Of Fantasy.

2 thoughts on “The Cardinal Sex Work Rule PSOs Must Know

  1. Pingback: NiteFlirt Launches New “Visitors by Referrer” Reports | Phone Sex Secrets

  2. Pingback: NF, You’re Tweeting All Wrong | Phone Sex Secrets

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *